What's the best way to break up with a guy?

What's the best way to break up with a guy? My boyfriend can't hold a job. I've had enough. I love him, but this has been going on for two years now. I'm tired of his lame excuses of the job makes him work to hard. Good grief, it's a job buddy. I'm tired of supporting him all this time.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why do you even care what the "best" way is to break up with him?

    I was dating a girl once who just strait up told me that she wanted to stay home, be a housewife, take care of the kids, have sex with me when I got back home, cook for me, and never work but have me being the only one who worked. I laughed, finished the date, and then never saw her again. I did give her a courtesy call to tell her that we were done, over, breaking up. She asked "why," and I just told her that things were not working out, and something abstract and vague like "things are not working out" or "you're not giving me what I want" (she probably thought it had something to do with sex lol). But whatever. Point is, I didn't care, and neither should you. You already know this relationship is over, so why do you care?

    The truth is, it's not the fact that he doesn't have a job that bothers you. For example, I'm sure you're not the kind of person that would break up with someone if he was trying hard to find work but the labor market was just horrible. The issue is not his lack of employment, but his lack of ambition, drive and motivation for success and financial security. What really bothers you is that he's one of those people that is totally fine getting by with as little as possible (as little money as possible, as little effort as possible, etc.)

    There's nothing wrong with wanting to break up with someone like that. I hope nobody in your life is making you feel ashamed or guilty for wanting to break things off with him. That doesn't make you a gold-digger or anything like that. That just makes you smart, and it's what any reasonable person would do. Life is hard. Life weighs you down. The last thing you need is more weight dragging you down. You don't need a partner that's a weight. You need a partner that'll help you stay afloat. Today, everything is fine with you, but what happens if you lose your job, or you need to quit, or you can't work for a while? What's going to happen to the "couple"?

    This guy is just a loser. Not a "bad person," but just a loser. He's had two years of proving to you over and over again on what a loser he is. Plus, he's like a little girl. Little girls make up excuses, because they're incapable of being held accountable and taking responsibility for their own actions or failures. You can't grow as a person if you're too busy shifting blame onto others for your own short comings. People grow when they don't make excuses, accept responsibility and hold themselves accountable, and then look for ways to make themselves better. He's not one of those people, which means it'll be very frustrating being in a relationship with him - it'll be like being in a relationship with a child.

    So, it doesn't matter which way you break up with him, all that matters is that you break up with him.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • I couldn't have said it better so I will just piggy back.

      Girl, ask yourself what he brings to the table that equals or outweighs what you do for him. If he brings nothing more than an appetite and a lack of motivation, turn the table over because I'm sure you are not trying to feed the world.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Tell him in person that's for sure. Way too disrespectful to do it over text or phone if you've been dating that long. If you tell him that's the reason why, I'm sure he'll say that he can change and will want to get back together if he does manage to find a job. You may just want to cite that you guys are in different places and feel that things aren't working out between the two of you.

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  • Don't make a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be. You don't have to explain yourself or give him a reason. If your not feeling the relationship anymore you need to tell him that and move on.

    Maybe being dumped will motivate him to have a little ambition.

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  • LOL Good Grief BUDDY lmao... I think your frustration is absolutely warranted. You need to know that your future is safe and secure by having a real man with a real job will show that. It is this society today that life should be easy and sweat free. Not for a real man though! The best way is to just walk up to him and say GET OUT, stop contacting me! I don't believe you and I should be together for one: No man I am with will not work! two: I should NOT have to support a grown man fully capable. three: I cannot respect anybody who thinks and expects life to be handed to him like you do. four: I need a real man! five: ARE YOU STILL HERE? GET OUT FOOL !

    That's what I think you should say... ;),

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What Girls Said 7

  • I agree with everyone about being honest. Don't be rude or unnecessarily harsh but don't sugar coat anything and make up things just to ease his pain, like "I'll probably always love you" or "We'll probably get back together later, just not now." People's feelings change so unless you're one of those people who commit whole heartedly and never give up hope on people, steer clear of those things.

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  • be honest, tell him straight up what's on your mind. tell him that you love him, that you've done your best (hopefully you have) to support him, but you can't anymore. who knows, this might prompt him to be more proactive in getting a job.

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  • Whats wrong with guys these days? It seem like many are not looking for job. I think no wayis the bestway to end a relationship especially if the other party love you alot.

    I would tell him honestly the reason for break up

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  • I once used that am moving lol

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  • just tell him that it is over

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  • i would just be honest and don't hurt him on purpose.

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  • Honest and straightforward. Talk to him and tell him that you're tired of supporting him all the time, that he needs to grow you and be responsible. Make it clear to him so he'd understand why you wanna break up with him. If you still love him this might be a wake up call for him and you guys can work it out. If not then don't sugar coat the break up so that he won't expect that there's still a chance of you guys getting back together.

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    • ^Exactly, guys themselves do enough of sugar coating as it is. That way he will also know why and take the lesson with him for the future, in case it really doesn't work out for you two...

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