Why did my boyfriend change his mind once I moved in?

I'm 33, divorced once, my boyfriend of the past 8 months is 40, divorced twice. 2 months ago, he asked me to move into his house with him and I questioned if it was too soon. He said "no, when you know, you know." He even insisted on meeting my parents when they were in town, before he asked me to move in. I moved in two weeks ago, and every day he would say "i'm so happy you're here," "i love waking up next to you," "i love that you're adding your feminine touch to make this our home," etc.. A week after moving in, he tells me he's having second thoughts about living together. He said he's lived by himself for so long that he has his routine, and that he feels like he's walking on eggshells around me. We've never fought, we've never had a disagreement, and both being divorced, we talked about very intimate details regarding lifestyle, debt, household chore responsibilities, etc. before moving in. Since we're older and we dated for a while, I know all of his friends and he knows all of mine. My friends and family are shocked, and even his friends are too! So, what's up? Is there a screw loose somewhere?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is. It's called "Habit" and "Freedom". He's playing into his own demons believing that he is setting himself up for the same mistake that he made the first two times when he managed to achieve divorce. He's both nervous about a new resident & regretful about his own actions and the fact that he is "in the same shoes" that he was emotionally all those years ago.

    Give him time. He will calm down with a little real-life reassurance that he isn't about to sign up to shoot himself in the foot yet again.

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What Guys Said 3

  • He may think he moved too quickly. He thinks he should have more time to recover from the last divorce, and that he wants more time on his own before sharing his home with someone.

    It's called 'getting cold feet.' It isn't totally rational, since it sounds like you've discussed the important issues of being together over 8 months. It's just fear talking, and he's been burned by his past failed relationships.

    Reassure him you aren't like his exes, and that you understand he has worries about how you will get along under the same roof when he's used to the single status with its freedom.

    Let him have time to himself; let him go out with the guys, and don't try to tie him down immediately. He obviously wants some freedom right now!

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  • because reality hit him on the face

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  • He wants his old life back but is tring to make it look like your fault lol. I don't know I am to young to know I guess lol.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i think he rushed into it.

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  • maybe he is kist not into it anymore

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