Is it normal for me to not approve of this relationship? I need help please!!

Ok so my dads always been a bit friendly with my girlfriends I always figured he was just being nice, you know hugs when they see each other and such and then last summer he called me up and told me he was marring my ex and that they had been seeing each other for yrs. keep in mind that our break-up over laps there relationship's beginning. Now I'm forced to see her and my dad make out every Thanksgiving and holiday (eww) is it normal for me to not approve of this relationship? I hate them so much right now!
Updates:
Well here's my situation update...I had a 2 hour long talk with my dad about how I feel and how sh*tty he was and while I was talking to him he looked dead into my eyes the whole time and saw that I was dead serious about cutting him outta my life forever and I was NOT kidding. So apparently he thought long and hard for several hours and asked for forgiveness knowing that I was a 100% right and it would be worse for his ONLY child to disown him forever and no woman would be worth that:-)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm glad to see most everyone sides with you in that what you are feeling is completely normal. Betrayal is brutal. Sometimes it is a wound that never heals. I agree that for How Ever Long It Takes - you should not be around them until you no longer feel such pain from them.

    Its unbelievable the amount of selfishness in people these days. I'm sorry this happened to you, your best bet is to remove yourself from the situation.

    Also - be sure to find an outlet (gym,hobby) to help you deal because that kinda sh*t can eat at you and you don't want to sink to their level of mentality.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Did you just say you recently broke up with her only to hear that she's been 'seeing' him behind your back all this time.

    Gross. That's keeping it in the family.

    You have a right to not approve of the relationship.

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    • I don't think my father thinks that me and his relationship is really important to him seeing how he was doing this sh*t..fml

    • why did your girlfriend get with him anyway?

    • I'm not even sure...it's not like he's attractive or doing really wealthy or anything like that he's just an average joe to me

  • You did the best thing by talking to him. Sometimes we get so caught up in being selfish we forget the feelings of others around us. I'm glad you set him straight. I look forward to your updates since you were only 'allowed' so much space to type - I'm on the edge of my seat here!

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    • Do you think it was bad that I told my family about this situation but they are totally on my side about how I confronted my dad about his deeds?

  • I think you have every right to feel as you do. Totally normal. The cheating/betrayal alone is bad enough, but that it's your father has really got to be hard to deal with. That takes it to a completely different place than if it were a close friend or even a brother. Hopefully you can get past this and keep some sort of relationship with your father, but if you can't or don't care to, it would certainly be understandable!

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  • Of course it's normal, and I'm sorry you find yourself in the situation, it positively sucks !

    You don't need to be around that right away, you can wait a while until you get used to the idea and the initial strong bout of resentment wears off

    It's probably best for everybody

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  • Lmaoooooo am so sorry but that's funny as hell... sounds like a

    Movie, I love your dad lol hahhahaah

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  • That is definitely normal for you not to approve considering your ex just became your stepmom...its a bit hard not to be upset I would think...

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  • Eww that's so f***ed up she must be like way younger than your dad yuck

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    • She's in her 30's

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    • IKR..well imma tell my dad that I'm never speaking to him again if hecontinues to see her. I mean off all the girls in the world he has to go with my ex come on now..I'm thinkin about disowning him

    • That's probly what I would do I I was in that situation

  • So are they gonna stay together or what ?

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    • He's still kinda bothered/mad by the way I came down on him but no. He doesn't want to be disowned by his only child. I would have went more into detail but the update section olny allows so much typing space.

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    • Oh wow I didn't read that part am sorry...

    • It's ok:-)

  • That is disgusting... what an a**hole, I think you should cut him out of your life.

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  • i think you should just accept it and be the bigger person. it snot weird, it would be really good form your part.

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  • i think it is pretty normal

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  • I wouldn't approve either

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  • I wouldn't approve it either... The fact they actually started dating when you were still together is the last drop. None of them ever considered your feelings, it seems, so I wouldn't consider theirs.

    That being said, they have been going out for years now... Just came out to you, basically.

    Maybe I wouldn't cut off all ties, but not sure about spending the holidays together like a big happy family... Not right away anyway.

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    • People these days are so selfish and inconsiderate that it makes me sick!

      Im going to have a talk with him and her about this sh*t and if he doesent break it off I'm gonna basically tell him that he's dead to me and he can forget about ever having a relationship with me again either me being his ONLY child he better take it into consideration.

    • Do you think that your relationship with your father would return to what it was? Can you trust him again?

      I'm just thinking that the resentment would always be there, and in your father's side as well, in case they do break up.

      For how long have they been together?

    • About 18 months into our relationship

  • I guess how you react depends on whether or not having a relationship with your father is important to you.

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    • How would YOU react if your mother did this to you?

    • My mother never would, but if she was the type of person who would do that I don't think I could have a close relationship with her. We would probably call each other on holidays, but I doubt I'd visit her. It would maybe be different if they started seeing each other years after I broke up with the guy, but if they're together while I'm still with him I wouldn't be able to trust either one of them any more. That's just me personally though.

    • I agree whole-heartedly

What Guys Said 3

  • I don't know what's normal. But as far as I'm concerned that would totally be unacceptable behavior on his part. That's really low.

    I can't honestly say how I'd react. It's something that's hard to imagine without actually being in the situation. I'd be tempted to never talk to him again though...yea maybe that's reactionary, but I think that's how I'd feel.

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  • I would never see, or talk to my dad again. There's a thing called BOUNDRIES, and he has crossed about 10 of them.

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    • Im going to have a talk with him and her about this sh*t and if he doesent break it off I'm gonna basically tell him that he's dead to me and he can forget about ever having a relationship with me again either me being his ONLY child he better take it into consideration.

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    • @ update. Do you think you can trust him? I hope he's sincere. Best of luck.

    • I'm hoping so dude case like I was saying what he did was completley unexcuseable and low..I'm still kinda mad though

  • This is in the movie "No Strings Attached." The young guy finds his father is sleeping with his ex, punches him hard in stomach, no thinking about it, exactly your reaction. Scene struck me as correct reflection of what would happen in real life.

    If a friend or brother took my ex, (*especially overlap*), I'd react the same way you are. Something primordial about the reaction. Taking my woman, even though broke up.

    The overlap really exacerbates the repulsiveness. Geeze, every time I'd look at Dad or Ex, all I would see would be his pipe in her. I wouldn't be able to stay in the same room with either.

    I'm with you, this is serious hard to handle.

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    • If a friend or brother took my ex, -- father would be hugely worse than friend or brother. This is way f***ed up.

    • Sorry but I never seen that movie...I'm not a movie person I'm just looking. For advice here:-(

    • Point is not the movie. Point is your situation was fictionalized, and the story showed a character having the same emotional reaction to your situation that you did. To get produced the scene was considered by many people who agreed the response was a natural, expected response. By referencing the movie, I'm trying to say many people would respond the same way you are responding.

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