So I've been in a relationship for 5 years. We have our ups and downs like a regular relationship. We have two kids together and every year it seems to get harder and harder to keep the spark and love alive. For 5 years he has been talking to his ex. First couple of years it was that he still had feelings for her. He says he's over it but I still find text message from her. The conversations are simple she says hi and how much she misses him and he says hi and for her to get use to him being with me. He kind of pisses me off because after all these years he now defends me. I recently found myself crushing on someone else. Does that mean that I love my boyfriend less than I thought or I've been hurt so much that I need to move on?
Most Helpful Guy
You're 24 which means you got together at 19 and you have had 2 kids with him since then. I will always tell people that that is way too young of an age to have a child since you are still growing up yourself and making life decisions and figuring out who you are. While I always will say these things, unfortunately you have already had 2 kids together which means you two already made the choice to settle down and spend the rest of your lives together raising your children (at least I really hope that what you were thinking when you decided to have kids). It's time to put childish things aside and take responsibility in your relationship for the sake of your kids. Kids raised under single parents are constantly dealing with emotional instabilities due the the emotional toll it takes on them to see other peoples families compared to their own and since you are young enough that you would definitely get married to someone else as would your boyfriend that means your kids in your future family would be only half siblings feeling like only a fraction of the real family. This can really take a toll on kids while growing up and hinder them with social and emotional issues. You need to see a couples counselor and get things sorted out. I personally would say that you both need a very thorough talk, tell him get rid of his ex completely once and for all, number and all, and you need to get your mind straight and focus on your man and doing what you used to do to be passionate together. Stop thinking about this other guy now. People always talk about Marriage being the same way because once you have kids everything become focus on the kids and less on your relationship (your VERY young relationship I might add). It is essential that you two make the changes necessary to be intimate again and go on dates and be close again. Higher a baby sitter or have your parents take care of them for some nights while you two go out and have fun. Basically, what I'm telling you is when you start thinking the way you are right now, think about your kids and then think about how you can fix things to ensure a good future for your kids because their future and life should always come before yours.0
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