So recently I overheard my girlfriend of 3 years whom I share an apartment with speaking with her friend about her ex boyfriend. She was saying she wondered if he still had feeling for her and why things didn't work out. Well long story short we had a huge argument she said she didn't know what she was thinking and that she loves me and wants to be with me. So everything was good until last week when she received a call from her ex stating his little brother died. Now there relationship was strange, her parents took him and his kid brother in for 4 years so they were like family. Now there is a funeral in AZ where her parents live and she wants to go and she would be staying at her parents house which is where her ex is staying right now also. This has been a week long argument, she doesn't want me to go and we have been fighting about it constantly. She swears nothing will happen but because of her little talk with her friend that I overheard its a little hard to believe. I just don't know what to do, I was thinking of giving the ultimatum that if I don't go she doesn't go but I don't know how that will go over. It's so hard because I don't think or at least don't want to believe she would cheat on me but I just can't trust her anymore and she understands that. What is one to do do? I love her more than anything and would love to spend the rest of my life with her but I can't help but be upset and insecure about this situation. My co workers and friends say leave her but I really don't want to and we just signed a lease which would cost me over 2,000 to end if she did something in AZ and we broke up. Please help
Most Helpful Guy
Well first of all, you should be aware that many girls have a hard time severing emotional ties. I've seen girls feel guilty or show concern for ex's that were totally abusive to them, even though she broke up with them. Girls are just the type to always feel sympathetic towards people. This is why girls always want to know what their ex's are up to. Personally I think lots of these girl, while their intentions most of the time are innocent, are playing with fire. I'm in the camp that ex's should be erased out of your life as much as possible, unless of course they are a friend or something that you dated. So based on just her conversation with her friend, I wouldn't necessarily be overally concerned. Would I like hearing that, no, but would I break up with her because of it, probably not.
Now the part I find strange, although I don't know much about the situation, is that she wants to go alone. I can understand why she would be staying in the same house. I knew a girl who dated a guy, and was friends with his brother, and both their families were extremely close. It was like they were related, so it was common from them to to be living at each others parents houses sometimes. So that doesn't bother me. I feel like if she had nothing to hide, she would have no problem with you coming. If anything, she would prefer you come for emotional support since its obviously going to be a crazy and hectic experience. The only reason she might not want you to come, is because she feels that you don't really have a relationship with any of the families and that it would be awkward to have you there, but still I'm not sure I buy that. It's totally acceptable to bring your SO/spouse to a funeral.
Ask her why she doesn't want you to do. If the answer sounds like a bunch of BS, then that will tell you a lot. Even if she still insists she go alone, I'd be curious to see what her behavior was like afterward. What I'm trying to say is I agree you should be cautious. But I'm not quite sure I would break up a 3yr relationship so fast. Give it some time and continue to investigate.0