Case of the ex... What do I do?... So MAD!

Have been dating this man for a few years now, his ex he dated for 4 years, 12 months after they broke up she started dating his best friend. This ruined thier friendship and she was leading him. my boyfriend. on during the 12 months, badly, he thought they would get back together, *before I came along*, he cut all ties. When he and I started dating she attempted to make amends, her idea of amends was telling him she missed him, asking him to catch up, he said I wouldn't be OK with it, she said lie. I was very mad when I found this out, she was giving him advice to be dishonest with his new gf?, he didn't go, I assumed she would want to be friends with her exs new patner, I did. Anyway, ties were cut, my boyfriend has come a long way in the few years we have been dating, he looks gorgeous, improved his body by miles, we are both gym junkies :) he attempted to make amends with his ex best friend, his ex best friend seemed to want to but then stopped replying to him...oddly.. I thought for sure this is the ex's doing. It was my boyfriend birthday a week ago, she wrote to him on Facebook after almost 18 months of no contact, wishing him a happy birthday and some soppy message about how she's so sorry about everything that happened in their 'friendship'. I can't help but wonder why she's writing to him and why she wouldn't allow her partner, his ex best friend, make amends, but here she is months later writing to him, zero mention of I hope your relationship is going well,im glad your happy...NOTHING... It makes me mad! She has been nothing but disrespectful of my presence in his life, even though I picked his shattered heart off the floor after what she did to him, restored his confidence and make him very happy. Our relationship is amazing but the ex, wow, I'm coming to my wits end.


Most Helpful Guy

  • She sounds like a piece of work. Your boyfriend is lucky to have lost her and found you instead! My question is why do you feel you need to do anything about her? Do you think she is a threat? Is your boyfriend badly affected by her attentions? I understand why you would be mad about her behavior but is it something that needs to be stopped or can it be ignored? I don't understand why it's affecting you so strongly.

    • I have wondered the same thing. I'm not entirely sure why it affects me. I just don't think that her intentions are entirely innocent. I've spoken to my boyfriend about it and he seems to always think she's innocent in everything. Everytime she talks to him again the past and the sh*t she caused him is forgotten, or somehow not her fault, I'm mad she has that affect on him and I don't forgive so easily and feel she doesn't deserve to wander in and out of his life as she pleases. Perhaps I'm overreacting

    • I'm sure you're right about her intentions. I would bet that on some level your boyfriend knows that she is bad news as well. He has forgiven her and put it behind him. The only thing to be concerned about is whether they make contact. I hope that he has no desire to respond and he knows to avoid her if he tries to push her way in. Otherwise you have every right to intervene because you honestly believe her to be threat to him and to your relationship.

    • Try to channel your anger at what she did into protectiveness over him so that he doesn't think you're overreacting. It's worth trying to discourage him from the temptation of thinking "what can it hurt if I meet with her just this once?"

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What Girls Said 2

  • i think you should move on from him

  • i think you should just forget about her, don't give her any importance


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