Here we go! ...He wants a "break"... But what do his actions mean??

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. I have been living with him for two months and lately we have been arguing more often than not. Every time we argue he ALWAYS says “this isn’t working out” , “I’m done” or “I can’t do this anymore” . Last night we were arguing and he said that he wanted to take a break. So I packed some stuff up (in the meantime, he was in another room and had no idea I was leaving. I actually left then returned for my phone. That is when he found out I was leaving; he never actually asked me to leave) and went to my house. Once before, I had packed a bag to go stay at a friends after an argument but he grabbed my bag and threw it, then later asked me nicely not to leave. Anyways, after I left he called me right away but I didn’t answer. Then he sent me a text saying that we need to work some stuff out and that if I need to, I can stay at his house (our home). We had a conversation the following morning (this morning) and he told me that we do need a break. He said numerous times that if I needed to stay at our home, I could. He said if I did that then we just wouldn’t talk to each other. We could just pretend that the other person is not there. I told him in order to take a break, we need to be apart. Which he said he understood but still stressed I could sleep in our bed. Does it seem like he wanted me to leave?

So, I guess I am a bit confused. What do you make of this situation? He clearly wants a break. He said that this morning. Also, 99.9999999% of “breaks” are really because people are too chicken sh*t to actually go through with the break up OR they just want to bang other people. This kind of feels like it could lead to a break up, but definitely not the latter. He said that just because we are having major issues doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care. What in the world is going on? Any responses from people truly putting effort in to their answers is much appreciated!

Updates:
I also wanted to note that while we were talking this morning he told me that I can call him at any time if I need to talk to him. He heard me crying and I could tell that it broke his heart. He said that he wished he was here to comfort me. So, maybe he didn’t really want a break. Maybe because I left I kind of forced it? I am going to stay away for the weekend. Hopefully I have the strength to stay away a little longer.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems to me like you guys moved pretty fast in moving in together after only 5 months and maybe now he's having second thoughts. Clearly he does care about you as a person as he offered you a place to stay but I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to leave.

    Maybe you will work things out when he has some space to think things over or maybe you guys will break up. But to be honest if you're in a relationship that is so volatile in its early stages, perhaps the best thing to do would be to break up, at least for the time being, to gain some perspective.

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    • I agree with the moving in too fast. I told him that I thought we did. He said he thought things were better when I had finally moved in, but clearly we have some issues to work out. Oh, I added a few more notes in the update section. Thanks for your time and response!

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What Guys Said 1

  • It means he just want to have some space. It's like having a rest for the long journey ahead

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What Girls Said 3

  • i think you should try to give him some time to make up his mind

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  • Maybe he really needs a break to figure out your relationship. Maybe he wants to figure out if you guys are really compatible.. Something like that.

    I was like your boyfriend. I loved my boyfriend but we argued a lot.. So I asked him to take a break.. Not because I didn't like him anymore or to date someone else, but I just wanted my time alone to figure something out.. Lol

    My guy wouldn't let me be alone he went crazy and we never took a break but things went well.

    And when I asked him to take a break, part of the reasons was I wanted him to feel how special I am to him.. Since your boyfriend is letting you staying at his place and call him, it's not that he wants a break to really break up w you. He just needs time.

    Give him a space. Try to not call him or clingy at this point.

    Then he would want a break more if you come more to him.

    Leave him alone so he can feel your empty. He will be wondering about you and even regret that he asked you to take a break.

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  • i think you should slow down and let him think what he wnats form the relationship now.

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