What would you say if I guy you knew started to change to get girls attention?

Here's the deal. My parents raised me to be this flawless stable gentleman to women. I'm in medical school, and had one girlfriend for two years. I can pretty much say that she thought that I was too straightedge for her. I didn't drink/do drugs and took care of when she was sick etc.

Now my cousins are my heroes. They date models, girls that I once thought were cute, girls way out of my league with ease and switch through them quickly. While they were happy with me actually having an ex, they made it clear that it took way too much effort for me to get a girl that wasn't good for me anyway.

On top of confidence issues, I am a virgin because my ex never really brought up sex although we did other stuff. She's my first kiss too. I've asked out three girls and got rejected harshly every time even though they were my best friends.

What would you say if you knew me and I became more like my cousins?

  • Good for him
    Vote A
  • I despise him for it.
    Vote B
  • He shouldn't. Makes me sad
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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44

Most Helpful Guy

  • A girlfriend for TWO years and still a virgin? Man, you've got a worryingly serious problem: You're too much of a Nice Guy (TM). The best thing you could do in your life, as much as attending college and getting a MD, is to get rid of your nice guy self.

    From a fellow doctor.

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    • Great to hear from you. Ever since the breakup I realized I was too nice of a person. I try to emulate the cocky attitude my cousins show all the time but I don't think it seems to be working. Most of the friends I've met in college think I'm the most confident guy alive but none of the girls seem to.

    • You need to understand the basics of why that cocky attitude works. You're a smart dude, I can easily tell, if you really want to have this part of your life sorted out you'll have to "study" the biomechanics and intersexual dynamics of the sexual market-place and socio-sexual hierarchies. It sounds like a whole semester subject because the amount of knowledge not formalised yet is VAST. Here are the basics link

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What Girls Said 4

  • i said C because I believe that the main way in which a guy can get attention is if he is himself and not trying to act like something he isn't. if a guy does this, what will he do once he gets the girls attention? stay changed? hells nope. he'll change back to who he is... the girl will obviously feel like the ultimate fool and lets just say things won't end well...

    that whole drama over what? deception? not worth it.

    stay who you are and rock it, there's only one u:)

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  • Don't ever change to get girls to like you be yourself and someone will recognize the good in you.You will find a girl one day who love everything about you.

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  • i would feel bad for him

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  • i think he shouldn't because he should be happy with himself and try to find somebody who appreciates him for that

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What Guys Said 3

  • That's sad, he should be who he is and find the girl that likes him for him. As stupid/sad as a girl who changes for a guy. Never change for another person (or a group of people) just to get their attention.

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    • What's the advantage though when you are just going to be alone?

    • You won't be. Get out there and talk to a lot of girls. That's the only change I'd suggest anyone to make (myself as well). You gotta actually talk to girls that pique your interest. It's sad women are hypocrites and sexist and expect men to do all the work still to initiate things, but that's how it is.

  • Hmm if you were making a positive change to your personality or style or anything like that I'd say go for it. If you're changing simply to appeal to a certain type of girl I don't agree with that. If you have to drastically change to get someone to find you appealing then the relationship won't last anyway.

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    • I don't really see how small changes accomplish much. I have been told to talk to girls more, be less stiff around them etc. and I have done it all without a visible change in results or outcomes. Maybe I am seen as a more social fun person now but I hardly have a single giel wanting to find out more. That's why I think a drastic change might be needed

    • Just don't compromise your integrity or who you are as a person. If you change too much and it isn't real for you then you'll get girls that aren't right for you.

  • If you act like your cousins, then girls would start to swarm around you.

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