What should I do? he says he's starting to get attached to me and doesn't want to. Thinks were moving to fast.

Im 28 he's 33 time to settle down and stop playing games.

He pursude me for a few weeks even after I told him I wasn't ready to give him my number. Which he ended up getting from a mutual friend.

I agreed to see him figuring it would be a one night fling only to hear from him later the next day.

We talked off and on everyday and started to see him a couple days a week.

He would check in, ask me how my day was going or what I was doing. Very rarely would I text or call him first.

This went on for a month then we were around each others parents. Everything seemed great.

He had came to spend time with me one morning after getting my widom teeth pulled everything went great as usual. He kissed me good bye and told me he was picking his daughter up for the weekend.

I didn't hear from him much that afternoon or the next morning. then the message from him came in..".I think things might be moving a little fast. I don't want a relasionship. I have to he focused on a few other things but we can still hang out every once in awhile. I just don't want anyone to get hurt. I have fun with you just don't want to get attached to you and I'm starting to."

I was shocked. didn't see it coming at all and now I'm hurt. I don't know what to think or what to do HELP! if he didn't want a relasionship why pursue me? Why tell me your starting to get attached only to leave me?

Updates:
He jumped right back into it like he never missed a beat for the past 2 weeks. He came to me wanting to see me, cuddling with me for couple movie nights. Now he's flipped on me for the 2nd time. He was a bit of an a**hole the last day I saw him. Tells me he's coming to stay the night with me then doesn't. Text the next morning to say he fell asleep that he was sorry. I haven't heard from him since. What the hell is his problem?!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like what you told him was perfect. HOWEVER, if he wants to 'meet up once in awhile' just to sleep with you, I would advise against it. You WON'T, I repeat, absolutely WILL NOT keep him by sleeping with him every once in awhile. He will respect you when he realizes you are after the real thing and not a fling. Which means dating other men, since he told you very blatantly that he can't give you what he needs right now. Either he'll miss you enough to give it a go, or he will LET you go. Either way, you staying away will allow him the space to make either decision. He will make it obvious to you whether he wants to take the chance or not.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sorry to hear this, all I can say is that it is better that he tells you now rather than latter. What he means by he is starting to get attached and doesn't want to is just something you have to respect. Why did he say that? Good question, could be for a number of reasons and I'd hate to start giving you possible reasons and putting thoughts in your head. It is better for you just to ask him. Honest communication will solve this and any issue like this from happening in the future. When you ask him be ready to listen and respond, not react. You want answers, Allow him to feel that he can tell you without you getting emotional, that way you will get the whole story and he (hopefully) won't be afraid to give it.

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    • I told that I was just going with the flow of things and I enjoy his company. I told him that I didn't want to stop seeing him but if that was his choice I wouldn't chase him. asked him not to push me away because he was starting to get attached that I didn't think it was a bad thing. I reminded him that he pursued me not the other way around and there had to be a reason why he so addiment. told him to take a few days to think about things. Been 2 days and haven't heard from him. Scared I've lost him

    • Finally heard from him this afternoon. Just a Random message asking me what I was doing. There was just some general conversation. No talk about what happened. Don't know if I should give it a few more days b4 I ask him what's going on or just let it go? Figuring he really does care about me somewhat or I wouldn't have heard from him at all. What should I do now? Clueless!

    • Well, don't have any expectations for this to get too serious. For whatever reason he may not want to get into a serious relationship. You won't be able to change this. It would be nice to know why, and exactly how he feels. Next time the two of you are alone in person, I'd ask him. My current girlfriend and I are able to talk about anything and everything, and it has been that way since the beginning. Tell him what is on your mind ask him your questions, and don't have any expectations:-)

What Girls Said 3

  • Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants

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  • This is your cue to back off, like way off. I wouldn't even hang out with him again for a while. Give him a chance to realize what it means to NOT have a relationship with you. That does not mean he should be getting the benefits of your time, and sex with you. I'd see him like once every few weeks, if that, and definitely don't sleep with him. That is if you want him to maintain respect and regret his decision. If you continue to see him or sleep with him before he's changed his mind, you'll be a permanent FWB.

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  • well I think he jsut wanted to get what he wanted and didn't consider your feelings at all. just move on and try to find out what the guy is looking for before getting to that point.

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