Would you ever give an ex a second chance?

If you had a great relationship with somebody, one you were truly happy in, but at some point it broke off or ended for whatever reason, would you ever date that person again? Would you even give them a chance? I ask because my ex and I had a very, very good relationship, one we were both happy in for a good two years. Unfortunately, I had some depression issues at the time that influenced me to break up with her more than a year ago. Since then I've worked through those issues, but I've also realized what a mistake it was letting her go.I've talked to her about how I feel before but she says she's determined to move because she had to change her entire way of thinking after we broke up. Whatever that means. All I want is a chance to show her I can make her happy, that I can provide for her, that I always have and always will. I'm not interested in trying to bring a dead relationship back to life or trying to imitate it. What I want is a new relationship, a clean slate, a chance to start fresh with somebody I'm close to and care for deeply. Is that too much to ask for?


0|0
73

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in the same situation but on the other end of it. I had an amazing relationship with my current boyfriend for six months and he broke up with me for the second time yesterday. He said he was extremely depressed due to his past (family abandonment issues and a cheating ex-wife). This was the second time he broke down. Crying hysterically and telling me he needs help. He said he still wants to be in my life as my friend and still do the same things but no physical contact. I don't know what to do. I want so badly to be in this life but he needs to get help.

    If you went and got help I give you so much credit. So many people never seek help and stay depressed and miserable and try to hide it from loved ones. You seem like an amazing person and she would be lucky to have you in her life. Don't give up on her. Try to be friends first. Go on day trips, go on a hike, just talk etc. Don't pressure her into a relationship. Actions speak louder than words so show her how serious you are about being in her life and in time she will come around. Like you said, it will be a new relationship and it will be even better :)

    1|0
    0|0
    • I did get help for my depression but the therapy and meds didn't do so much for me as time, reflection and acceptance did. We're still friends, go to the same college, share the same friend group, but its difficult for me because I still love her and think of her romantically. Unfortunately she doesn't feel the same. But I want to believe we could be together again. We originally started dating because she asked me out and she's said she wished I had asked her instead. I want to go for it but...

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • when you say - "she had to change her entire way of thinking after we broke up. Whatever that means." I think she meant that she really cared for you so it hurt her...so in result she has tried to change her mind frame about liking you. us girls usually stick with a one sided view of things. and so obviously she was emotionally invested in you. but because you broke up with her she's now change her view to no longer being emotionally invested in you as much as she was or can be...(don't know how that's working for her still) but anyway... all girls handle their break ups in different ways. once we have are mind set we are pretty stubborn. It sounds like she is trying to get over the break up or may have already...and I know you say you won't hurt her, but in the back of her mind she may be thinking that she could get hurt again. and she may not want to take that chance again. p.s. having contact with an ex can be painful for some girls depending on personality etc. "you want a clean slate" with her mind view on things possibly,she probably can't see a clean slate the way you do. your best bet is probably to move on. there are plenty of fish in the sea. :P

    1|0
    0|0
  • That is too much to ask for, your ex moved on and she doesn't want a relationship with you anymore. When you try to get back with an ex, there is NO new clean slate and never will be. You will always have thoughts in your mind about the past and somehow subconsciously try to bring up the past.

    Whatever you do, don't get back with an ex. It won't be pretty.

    1|0
    0|0
  • My ex broke up with me due to his depression just over a week ago and I've been a total wreck. You have to force yourself to stop loving them when they really break your heart so you can move on with your life. I doubt she would be able to date you again I'm sorry. I don't understand why guys want to be alone through hard times, us women only want to help.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No, never.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm in the same situation, except on the other side. My relationship ended 2 weeks ago because my ex is depressed. He said he felt he couldn't make me happy when he wasn't happy himself. We both agreed to stay in each other lives... and for the most part, we have been. We have talked basically every day since, and yesterday he said that he wanted to talk about things. Getting back together is his call because he was the one in a bad place. I love him and I didn't want to break up anyways, so I am more than ready to get back together (if it's right for him).

    1|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't give any of my exes a second chance...that's the reason they're exes.

    You broke up with her (for understandable reasons, but still) over a year ago. Based on her remark, it was very difficult for her and she's changed since then. Given that info, I don't think a second chance is an option for her.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 3

  • That is too much to ask for. What you need to be focusing on is having a healthy balanced life. Not this mentality of "needing" to be in a good relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I definitely feel you. My ex girlfriend has depression issues, she dropped out of college and works a dead end job. She was unwilling to compromise with me on getting her life moving forward so we ended things. I still think about her all the time and wonder if we could get back together. I know she would take me back, but she's still unwilling to move forward. If she got her life together, I'd see no reason to not go back to her. I miss just holding her, doing stuff with her and of course, sex. She was my first girlfriend after being rejected 12 times. We made a relationship out of nothing and we were very happy until recently and then we ended it. I would go back in a heartbeat if things could work.

    0|0
    0|0
  • "Would you ever give an ex a second chance?"

    I did once. Never again.

    0|1
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...