Protective boyfriends?

My boyfriend often worries about me. I guess because I often hang out and go out by myself a lot and live alone.

This isn't really an 'issue' for me. I'm just not used to it all and don't really understand the mentality of it. I don't really have a dad or any brothers, nor ex's that were this way. I guess I just want to understand want to understand where the protectiveness comes from and what exactly is there to worry about? I mean have the morw protective guys had run in's where their girlfriend or whoever was actually in danger?

My boyfriend doesn't try to control me. But when he says he's worried about certain things, I tend to avoid whatever it was (that I normally would do), just because I don't want him to worry.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Hate to break it to you, but quite often "protective" boyfriends are often low-level controllers. I don't think you're actually in danger, and I am pretty sure he's worrying about nothing. But (and I realize I'm saying this as somebody who doesn't know him) more often than not, this is the beginning of controlling behavior . It's probably wise you do something to address this. Tell him to stop worrying, maybe even do something to prove you can handle yourself, and that he doesn't need to worry. If he still keeps this up, try to enforce it further. Also best you actually keep an eye out for this "protective" behavior manifesting into something worse. I'm speaking with genuine concern.

    • I appreciate the concern. And I'm sure reading this online from a stranger makes it sound worse than it is. I was more uncomfortable with it at first like you described. But I know that's not the case. He usually doesn't react to anything verbally right away and he never tells me not to do something or ever says "i don't like...etc" basically he's really careful about showing concern and negative emotions, but I can sense it anyway.

    • Then I guess your only real course of action is to prove to him that you can take care of yourself, and if other things worry him, remind him of all the other things you're totally on top of.

  • I consider myself protective. If my girlfriend goes away for a weekend with her friends. I would appreciate a call from her letting me know she got their safely. If she didn't call I would eventually begin to worry that maybe something happened to her.

    If a guy really likes you he will want to protect you. He will worry. Too much of anything can't be good, but you should compromise.

    • I think your behavior is just common courtesy haha. I hope every guy does this. I think she's referring to stuff like walking alone, being alone etc.

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    • I know what you're saying, but what you discribed sounds like the guy wouldn't have a reason to trust either of them. And there hasn't been any incidence of that. It's more like he's just overly curious about any guy he hears about me interacting with.

    • well if it continues do you think you will become less attracted to him?

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