I want to cheat on my husband and he is in the U.S Army

He has been away in the US Army for over a year and I still love him, but I need love and currently he isn't here to give me it. I am interested in his brother and I think he is interested in me too, we have started seeing each other recently but it has not gotten serious yet... but I want it to.

I know I will feel bad for cheating on him but he wasn't there when I needed him, so its ultimately his fault. I told him not to join the Army too...

Is this wrong?
Updates:
Well here's my update on this posting I posted a few days ago after considering what everyone on here commented, I had a long serious conversation with my husband about the situation and decided that being a army wife is NOT for me:-( And as for his brother I ceased to communicate with him before ever doing anything with him AT ALL..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, it's not wrong.

    (Huh what?)

    There isn't any such thing as "right" or "wrong." When you married your husband, you promised certain things to him. He promised things to you, too. If you feel that the marital obligations aren't being met, then you have to make the tough choice to file for divorce.

    If you had told your husband, "if you join the army, don't be surprised if I get my sexual needs satisfied while you're gone," and he joined anyway, then he would have to accept the consequences.

    As it stands, you're seeking to externalize responsibility for your own actions. If you sleep with your husband's brother, he WILL find out, and it WILL be absolutely DEVASTATING to him. You will effectively rip his life apart at a time when he needs extra support just to avoid PTSD.

    Satisfy your sexual needs without bringing anyone else into the picture, and please don't ask your husband about an "open relationship" over Skype or email unless you've talked to him before, seriously, about swinging. Otherwise, you'll be taking him for a horrible, psychologically nightmarish ride - he will suspect you're cheating anyway if you bring up the subject. You can ask him IN PERSON when he is on leave.

    If all else fails, you need to tell him the marriage isn't working for you because of his time away. That is a valid reason, and there's no need to be ashamed of that. There's nothing wrong with feeling the way you do.

    What most people find morally reprehensible is the lie you would create by having sex outside your marriage.

    You should make it clear that you can't tolerate his prolonged absences and make a clean break before moving on to another partner. Failing that... you better make damned sure he never finds out. I mean like burning the sheets sure. Your husband kills people for a living - think about it.

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    • I'm glad you handled it in an adult fashion. Kudos to you. This was not an easy situation to be in, by any means.

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What Guys Said 13

  • I am scared of a girl like u. I can't even imagine a woman could think this way. And he must be thinking when he is going to get a holiday so he can come back home and have all the fun of life even if he stays just for a month or two. men are meant go be outdoors for earning be it in army or any other field. He leaves his wife at home to run the family with trust. if you do it, that would be more painful than getting hit with a bullet on his chest. he will die alive.

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    • and why the hell he had to go so far to kill the enemy where as his biggest enemy is at home.

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    • Seconded

    • yes second hand

  • "Is this wrong?" Are you serious?! Do you really need people to tell you whether it's wrong or not? Suggest you seek therapy very, very quickly.

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  • Question: Is this wrong?

    Yes, because you're a troll.

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  • ofcourse its wrong.. nobody going army for fun... if he gone I'm sure he has reasons.. and I don't understand what you mean you started to seenig each other...If you need him you can talk your problems on phone... I don't think you have reliable reasons for cheat...

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  • If your guy finds out you were with his brother, total disastor! Don't do it. Look, I hear ya of getting nothing and your sexually fueresterated. I get it. There is other avenues... Maybe a Giggilo?

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  • And you women wonder why more and more men only use you for sex, and don't want a relationship with you?... smdh

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  • First off, it isn't his fault in any way. If he wanted to join the army, that is his life decision. As an adult you should be respectful of that. Just because he isn't there to sexually satisfy you doesn't mean he is not there for you. He is working tough to provide you and himself income.

    Yes cheating is very wrong. You don't have to cheat on him at all, get a vibrator. Second, the fact that you are doing it with his own brother is disgusting. If you hate your husband so much, at least save him some pain and shoot him right now.

    And no, if you are even having to ask this question and are somewhat serious about it, you do not love him.

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  • After reading a lot of the answers and realizing you could seriously screw your life up if you did,

    i say do it

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  • Future jerry springer appearance

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  • Is it wrong? Of course it's wrong. You know it's wrong.

    If you do cheat, it will be a defining moment in your life and well as you husband's and his brother's. You will never fully recover from it; it will be a dark cloud over your conscience for the rest of your life.

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    • @Update: good choice. There's nothing with ending your marriage because it's not working out, but cheating with your husband's brother is never OK because you would likely have ruined their relationship forever as well.

  • I would say after reading this that if this is genuine then you're trying to justify your reasons for wanting to cheat on him. I don't think you want to but cause you hardly ever see him you're getting frustrated and bored. You seriously need to think about the consequences. you could screw up your life, your husbands life and his brothers life just because of your desires. I'm not telling you what to do but throwing the question out there, is it really worth it?

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    • Fair play to you on what you've done. Must be a horrible situation right now

      Genuinely hope things work out for you.

  • You suck!

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  • "I still love him"

    No you don't or you wouldn't even be thinking of doing this

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What Girls Said 14

  • Well, lets review.

    Cheating is:

    -disrespectful to your partner

    -dishonest

    -hurtful

    -and against the laws of marriage

    Plus, you say you'd feel guilty if you did it. You wouldn't feel that if it wasn't a cruel thing to do. If you want to be with someone else, tell your husband and get a divorce. It is unfair to him if you sneak around behind his back.

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    • If you know then why are you asking? Do you just want people to validate your selfishness?

    • I commented on the wrong ppost sorry...but I guess the thing for me to do now is to have a skyping session tomorrow with my husband...sigh this ain't gonna be pretty:-/

  • It's so wrong. It's his fault for joining the army? And he's not here when you need him? News flash he's there for you ever day fighting for you and everyone else and you have the audacity to want to cheat on this guy? Do you know how horrible that is? You don't love this man if you're blaming him and wanting to cheat on him? Don't cheat on him its low and disgracing this man especially to do it with his brother. That is ultimate betrayal

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  • You have your needs. They can't be denied. You have any kids?

    Why don't you divorce?

    stay away for his brother! That is just wrong at so many levels. Are you out to totally devastate the poor man?

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    • No we don't have any kids together..

      I still love him but I'm tired of being alone

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    • Open relationship means that you are free to date other people while married. I do not recommend it. It may work short term. But it will blow in your faces sooner or later.

      GET A DIVROCE! You are not but to be a military wife

  • Cheating with his brother? you sound like a Maury guest..smh

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  • duuh it's wrong. it's cheating. the man is in the f***ing army and you're considering sleeping with his brother? I don't see in what way that seems okay.

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  • Firstly you should be proud for having a military man as a husband. Secondly while I do agree that you have "certain" needs but this does not validate cheating even then. If you seriously can't put up with this any further go for a divorce .

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  • I really really pity this guy.Looks like he is going to lose both his wife and brother soon.You are ''kiiling two birds with one stone''.

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  • reminds me of the movie called brothers

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  • That is wrong

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  • Bad idea.

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  • Don't do it with his brother, unless you plan to get divorced

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  • Stop posting this kind of trash trolling. You're probably a dude. Get a life.

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  • in my opinion your going down a path to mass destruction, if you knew this would happen you shouldve dumped him before he left, cheating on him is the same as stabbing his heart with a firepoker, if I were you I would warn him and if he doesn't retire and come back to you then he made is choice so you can dump him officially, whatever you do afterward is none of my business, just do him a favor and don't cheat.

    i don't like guys who choose the military, especially if its over something, but I do respect them only because they chose what they want, I do think the young ones are absolutely stupid for joining though (I have my reasons) so, whatever they choose they can only pick one, and if they choose that over the girl they love then so be it.

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    • oops sry, I didn't think you were married, just change everything I said over from breakup/dump to divorce.

  • You're a horrible person. Cheating on him would be bad enough, but his brother? Really?!

    Just break up with the guy and then leave him and his family members alone.

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    • I won't be able to until he gets back but not sure if I want to

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    • An open relationship is when you are both allowed to be with other people while still maintaining a relationship with each other. It doesn't work for a lot of people, but if it's something that works for you guys I think it would make him not being home with you easier on both of you.

    • Oh OK I undrstand now

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