Am I over my ex already or just suppressing my emotions?

To start with, a little background about my recently ended relationship. This was a guy I knew from school and we were friends for around 18 months before we got together at 18. He was my first ever relationship and my first everything. We were together for just over 2 years. We had some great times together and loads of great memories. As cheesy as it sounds, we helped each other to grow as individuals. About a month before it ended, we had a serious talk. He said how he didn't feel satisified, how he felt he gave more than I did, etc which was a shock to me because I was blissfully happy in my ignorance. He didn't really help by prentending to be happy, so I have no idea when he started to feel like this. We sorted out some solutions to help but things got worse, not better. We started drifting apart and when we broke up we agreed that it was our personalities clashing, which we can't do anything about, and we now want different things for the future compared to a year ago.

I had a gut feeling it was going to end but I still didn't want it to. I love him, I really do. Losing him broke my heart. He said his feelings for me had changed so he I think he was withdrawing from the relationship before it even ended. This happened on Saturday, so not even a week ago yet.

Despite how much breaking up tore me apart, I'm now confused. I feel like I'm over it already. But I can't possibly be, can I? We were together for 2 years...

On the day we broke up I was crying so violently I could barely breathe. The next day I felt indifferent. Then the following day I felt depressed and lost and cried a little again. The next day I was an emotional wreck once more, feeling completely lethargic. The day after that I felt indifferent again, but still lethargic. Then yesterday I felt the same but met up with some friends for a meal and had great fun. I was laughing a lot and didn't have a care in the world!

Emotionally, I've been all over the place. I think about my ex a lot, analysing our relationship, what could have gone differently, actually beginning to feel angry with both myself and him for not seeing the signs/leading me on, etc. The thing is, the last couple of days, other than feeling a bit lethargic, I feel like I'm content and over it already. We were together for 2 years so how is that possible?

I know its a little different, but I've never been good at grieving the death of relatives. I seem to allow myself to cry for a couple of days then nothing. I do tend to suppress my emotions without realising it (which I know isn't really a good thing). Is that maybe what I'm doing now? I'm just suppressing what I feel?

This is my first break-up so I didn't really know what to expect. Is it maybe "normal" to get past the crying stage quite quickly? I know I'm not over my ex because I still think about him a lot and feel guilty when I think I am over the relationship. I'm just very confused...

I do apologize for this being so long but thanks in advance!


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  • What you're going through is pretty normal and you're taking the right steps by just writing and venting your feelings. You're not suppressing any feelings. It might actually get worst still before it gets better. But I think you will be fine.

  • I find self improvement to be the best cure, work on yourself so your next relationship won't fail, if it was a bad match then it was a bad match and you can't do anything about that, but maybe you were depressed and didn't communicate well, that is something yu can work on, every experience is a learning lesson.


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