Girls making the first move

If a girl was to approach you first how would you prefer they talk to you? What would make you want to keep talking to her?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was in my longest relationship with a girl that approached me first. The first time I wasn't that interested because she really wasn't my type. I threw her number away that she gave me. Well a week later she showed up at my work again and flirted more and gave me her number again, so I called her and we went out. I found that we had a lot in common and loved the beach, surfing, and the same music and we started going out. I was with her for 10 years. We were young back then and didn't want to get married and eventually broke up. I think girls should let a guy know if they like him just like guys let a girl know. If you want to find out about someone just do it.

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    • That's a great story, gives me hope! I've noticed him looking at me a couple times and I mean I looked at him too cause I found him attractive. Thought maybe he way shy so I introduced myself with my name and asked how he was doing. Later he said I came off a little too strong. I'm thinking he's just not as interested as I thought for. What I'm reading on these answers.

    • Well I never would have got with that girfriend if she gave up and looking back it was the best relationship I ever had. We broke up because we both just got bored for some reason after 10 years and it became more of a friends relationship. We are still friends to this day and love each other. But if she hadn't pursued me like she did it never would have happened. I have many good friends but she is one of my very closest friends now and she is married with two kids and her husband is my friend.

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What Guys Said 20

  • If a girl came up to me and started talking astrophysics, it would blow my mind. Or any science for that matter, including some of the soft sciences. Or tech, or math, or whatever.

    Danggit, where are the geeks?

    Besides that unlikely scenario (I don't know many people in general who start conversations with "gravity well"), I'm usually fairly cool with most broad conversation, just don't expect a lot of words out of me right away. If it's specific topics, like celebrity marriages, you'll probably lose me, unless you want to talk about the philosophy of BEING a celebrity or something.

    But if you start off going into things like "people are so annoying" or "guys are just looking for sex", you're basically doing a good job of ridding me of any prior interest I had in you. Even, or especially, if you turn it into a compliment. "People are so annoying, but YOU don't seem that way." or "Guys are just looking for sex, but YOU don't seem like that kind of guy."

    I mean, the real personality comes off less in how you treat the person in front of you, and more in what you think of everyone else. If you say "People are so annoying, but YOU seem different" that means it's only a matter of time before you think I'm annoying, too. Or if you say "Guys are just looking for sex, but YOU don't seem like that kind of guy", you basically just told me you only respect me so long as you think I don't have a libido.

    So I guess just talk about the day or how nice the building is or something. I'm more interested in the fact that you took interest in me, and you show positivity about it, and openness to letting me just be me.

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  • Just be open and honest, and say that you would like to get to know me a little better, perhaps if you feel the time and setting is right you can ask them out for coffee or something like that, this way you can have my undivided attention. Nothing terribly elaborate.

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  • Curiosity. That's all it takes for me. Nothing fancy, a simple hi will suffice to get things going but be curious about me, ask me some great questions about who I am, what I'm doing with my life, what are my passions and interests. You can be smokin hot but if you sit there and don't take the time to get to know me, I'm not interested or attracted to you.

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  • I'd feel a lot better if a girl approached me. It eases a lot of stress for a guy because he doesn't have to work up the courage to say something or approach. Since I'd feel a lot less stressed out, I'd be able to think more clearly and be able to talk about anything. I'd like to just get to know her and for her to ask me about myself.

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  • Common interest is key. I get a lot of compliments on a lot of things, so I guess girls tend to think that's what works... I mean compliments don't necessary hurt, because you are being nice, but they are dead end conversations. Picking up details about who a person is, and then starting a fulfilling conversation on that topic at an apropo moment is a big play. It's what really sinks the teeth in. =P You become engaging, and for me at least, that drives my curiosity to explore you.

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  • I'd want her to ask me if I would be up for getting food or hanging out or swinging by to play video games (I would half-jokingly ask her to marry me if she asked the last thing).

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  • If she asked about my life, like who I am, what I do, what I like, et cetra, I would be very engaged to talking with her. If a girl wants to know about me, than I know she is interested, and you just don't want to let a girl like that go. Also, a compliment about me would be very great. Not a basic compliment like: "Nice shirt" more like: "I think that shirt really great on your body".

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  • For me, all she has to do is walk up to me and say "hi I'm (name)"...and I can carry the conversation from there. I'm a rather easy guy to approach once girls get past my bulldozer build and my tinted eyeglasses that look like shades. :)

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  • I rarely get approached by girls but when I have I was flattered because they did regardless of how they looked. I don't have a preference on how they approach me although coming off too strong isn't wanted. Well if she's funny then I'd def. keep talking to her, it's not required though but it helps. As long as she's good at holding a conversation, I'll do my part and keep it going to and not giving direct answers.

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  • lol same thing that always makes me like girls, if she's funny mainly or relaxing/ fun to talk to.

    and I like it when the girl approaches lets me know she's not a puss XP

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    • Lol well I approached a guy the other day and he said I came off strong because girls aren't suppose to go up to a guy. All I did was introduce myself ha I guess he just didn't like that I went up to him first?

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    • Exactly! Maybe I did it wrong though lol if that even makes sense. What should I say to a guy? Like what would you like me to say to you if I were approaching you?

      And yeah typically that's the reason lol

    • XP and I don't know I admit it can be a little confusing about what to do when a girl just comes up and says "ur f***ing hot" lol this has happened to me a few times and I'm just like "thanks...?" lol I've never found a good way to respond to that. but I mean if you just go up and say "hey I'm ______ howre you doing?" id respond "im good, whatre you up to?" so on and so forth till I got to hang out with her later XP

  • Just as a friend and show that they think I am attractive. If she talked to me or said hi a few times, one for each day she saw me I would want to talk to her.

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  • Well personally I would not feel great about such girls. But if you do want to approach first, then better stick to formal or semi formal discussions.

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  • introduce yourself, say Hi, how's it going, reach out your hand and introduce yourself, I love that, that simple

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  • I absolutely love it when a girl makes the first move. It shows she has confidence and goes after what she wants. More girls should do this.

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  • Like what's already been said. Just say "hi, what's your name?" not that many guys are used to women approaching them. So don't surprised if you catch them off guard. Some guys are completely oblivious that you're hitting on them. I usually assume you're just being polite and friendly if anything. Personally, I like girls that are kinda goofy, blunt. My last Girlfriend approached me first. In our first conversation she said a pretty inappropriate joke. It was pretty funny actually and I was hooked. I immediately felt comfortable talking openly around her.

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  • A straightforward "Hi" or "hello..."

    Unfortunately, for the VERY few number of women who have approached me in my life, they've come off as crass, weird, and frankly quite stupid... they approach getting my attention like a brutish guy would try to get a girl's attention (screaming, whistling, etc.)...

    Sadly, the few girls out there in the world who actually do make attempts to approach guys are AWFUL at it... They think by acting all goofy that we some how will like it... but I don't, and any guy with a brain won't either.

    Just say "Hi," look us in the eye, and go slow...

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  • playful, teasing and a touch of carefreeness

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  • I wish you lived closer to me so I could approach you. instead you're cute! You're about an hour away.

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  • Just come say hi and ask me a question

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  • the idea that a girl doesn't find me ugly will make me talk to her

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    • thanks for BA , but I really wish some girl won't find me ugly someday

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    • Ha nice, but those numbers can't be right. Put yourself out there more. Talk to people, talk to girls! I mean look at me I'm putting myself out there too. You can't be afraid of rejection or you won't rt anywhere in life. Even the most attractive person in the world has been rejected somehow. You can't let it stop you, you should let it motivate you and find another way to perfect your social skills. I'm asking complete strangers on how to approach men you can do the same gets some tips.

    • rejected once isn't the problem . its the rejected every time

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