Would you take someone back after they cheated?

If someone cheated on you and you found out and dumped them, and they begged for you to forgive them, and to get back together? What would you do?

  • Take them back
    Vote A
  • Not take them back
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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2012

Most Helpful Guy

  • Ill give my own personal experience. About a year and a half in to my current relationship (going on 4 years now) I guess me and my girlfriend were having problems. She met another guy and I told told me she wanted a break because she was unsure of her feelings. Long story short, about a week into the "break" she came to me crying saying she had got with him and she instantly regretted it. She was completely forthcoming and told me everything. It was tough at first. We don't get back together right away but we worked through it and wound up getting back together. Even though it was technically a break I still considered it cheating because she met the guy while we were together, and we still talked during the break. It hurt like hell and I dealt with a lot of issues but I'm happy I worked it out

    So from my experience. First, the Cheater has to be completely honest. For trust to be re-established there can be no lies, no hidden details. No secrets. Secondly, they should be fully committed to doing whatever it takes to earn you back. No getting upset at the person if they need to ask something, no being impatient with them. Also, they need to give you whatever space you need

    Of course, all of it still may not be enough. It's up to you in the end. If you feel like its not worth it, or you can't trust again than don't try to work it out. I think a lot of people may call me, or anyone else who made my decision, ey may call me a p****, or gutless or whatever. But I think it takes a lot of guts to not really fear what people will think of you, and to take a shot at trusting the person again. It takes guts to not just do what's expected of you and instead do what makes you happy

    Hope this helps. Good luck.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • You are a fool imo. Shoulda never taken the ho back. She's probably not going to be faithful in the future and likely hasn't. I don't see how you trust her now. But, whatever, your life.

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What Guys Said 11

  • F*** no. Never trust them again. Anyone who takes a cheater back is a fool. Cheaters don't deserve to be with non-cheaters. They deserve to suffer loneliness or to be with other cheaters only. Cheaters are some of the worst people. Just selfish, weak, and disgusting. I will hold nothing but hatred and contempt for such people.

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  • Is this even a legitimate question? That person violated the sanctity of the relationship and your trust. That person doesn't deserve you if he acts like that...and then he had the nerve to try and get back together with you?! Tell him to hit the bricks and fast.

    Forgive, don't forget and NEVER reward bad behavior.

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  • I guess it would depend why she cheated or felt the need for another guy , and it would depend how serious we were like just dating or an actual relationship ? but in most cases after cheating has been revealing people move on , its hard to forgive such mistakes

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  • Ive been there, my ex cheated on me 4 times and I took her back cause it was the "last time" it will ever happen. Now I've learned that if they cheat once they will always cheat. Have self respect and set your standards, stick by them. My opinion is that while making a mistake is human nature, obviously having sex and building a relationship with another guy you should obviously know your doing wrong...

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  • Your question is not specific enough and there is no "depends" option. First, what do you mean by cheating? Full blown sex or flirting? Second, it also depends on the circumstances of the cheating.

    I wouldn't take her back a good 80% of the time. If I ever were to take her back, it would be because her cheating was less severe (like holding hands and kissing) and because she was ACTUALLY sorry about what she did, not because she got caught. If she admitted what happened to me in a short time span after it happened, realized how much the f***ed up and was giving honest apologies (not those bullsh*t "I'll do anything!" apologies), I might give her another shot. However, she is going to have to work hard and prove to me that she is regretful and actually wants me and me only in her life. She will have to build up that trust and love again.

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  • I keep true to this motto "Make your mistakes but, no second chances."

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  • If I ever had a girlfriend. Which is never going to happen then I would never take her back because she would cheat AGAIN!

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  • I wouldn't take her back.

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  • I would tell them to go kick rocks

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  • I'd rather die than take her back!

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  • If she dumped him and wants my forgiveness, what's the problem? She realized she did something wrong.

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What Girls Said 20

  • I probably would not take them back. Cheating is a deal-breaker in most relationships, mine included, and I make that perfectly clear early on. So for someone I'm with to KNOW it's a deal-breaker, and still knowingly betray me that way, yeahhh no, I don't think I'd have much sympathy for them if they came running back.

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  • I picked B), but it really depends on the situation.

    If they are in some type of mental state where they aren't themselves and they cheat, I would only take them back IF they got out of that bad mental state and showed sign of change.

    I also think, MOST of the time, as long as it isn't obvious that the guy/girl is a player...

    most of the time, it is mutually both persons fault. Of course, it is more the cheaters fault...but

    there is a reason why they cheated.

    For girls, it is mainly because the girl doesn't feel loved enough and doesn't get enough attention..so she goes elsewhere to get it..but doesn't break up with her boyfriend either because she does love him, she just isn't happy with him and it drifting away from him. --and of course she doesn't want to lose something she is "comfortable" with by leaving him and chancing it with someone new.

    For guys, it is more of a pissed off notion. If they constantly fight with their girlfriend..they go elsewhere because they want someone to appreciate them for THEM. They get annoyed with their girlfriend complaining all the time, and go elsewhere to find a girl who will temporarily treat him like the man he is. When girls constantly bring their boyfriends down by fighting and complaining--it shows that their boyfriend isn't good enough and belittles the guy. He just goes and looks for acknowledgement elsewhere that he is a man and can go out and get another girl just like a man.

    Haha I tried to explain that the best I could. I am not sure if it makes sense.

    Please, no haters! :)

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  • if they wanted and valued and respected the me and or the relationship- they wouldn't cheat,

    so taking them back seems idiotic to me. simply irrational impractical and delusional.

    when someone cheats they are or have long ago checked back. imo its moot.

    you don't accidentally slip your d*** into another person.. so it was thought out and it happened because they wanted it to and the relationship wasn't / isn't a priority.

    so what exactly is there to go back to?

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  • No, if they cheat I can't trust them, if I can't trust them I can't be in a relationship with them, simple as that.

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  • I say no. But thinking about my current boyfriend and how much I love him I don't know, maybe I would

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  • I'd never take someone back after they cheated on me.

    I think cheating is stupid anyway. JUST BREAK UP WITH ME!

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  • Never. God gives second chances but I don't.

    https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=WaSy8yy-mr8

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  • it really depends on if they are truly sorry or not.I guess the onle way to know would be is to give one last chance and then see how they use it. Id try to act normal.

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  • Would you take someone back after they cheated?

    A. Take them back

    Only to humiliate, degrade, and emasculate him.

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  • Right now with my insecurities could I saw for sure I wouldn't take them back but once I get better I won't take someone back who can't devote himself to me

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  • Why would I want to do that he did not respect me, us and the relationship we had what would make the situation different this time around forgive them yes but not take them back

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  • I have a solid relationship(married) and a baby girl. If he cheated I would ALWAYS consider taking him back. He is an amazing man who has had eyes solely on me for for years, even before we got married. If he cheated on me he was A) DRUNK, as it makes him extremely horny, or B) I have been neglecting and SCREWING things up for an EXTREMELY long time. I have a family to maintain and I doubt that one cheating instance would be enough to make me pack his/ or my shyt and leave.

    Call me crazy I really don't care.

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  • No once a cheater always a cheater! NEVER take em back!

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  • if you don't have trust, you don't have anything.

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  • Not very likely.

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  • I really think that 99% of the time - once a cheater, always a cheater.

    Even if they didn't cheat again, it'd be nearly impossible for me to trust them ever again. And I don't want to be in a relationship with someone I don't trust. It would be miserable for us both.

    I voted B.

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  • I forgive easily so I'd probably take him back

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  • How can you possibly take a cheater back after he/she betrays you and destroys your trust in the first place?

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  • NEVER

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  • I would never take them back

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