Why don't I like being a girl?

Specifically in relationships. The guy is the one who wants to talk about their feelings, or that needs comfort where I am the more "calm" one. I don't like to be carried around or ogled over for being "cute". I don't like being protected or comforted. However I don't mind doing those things for the guy. (I even carried my 150 lbs ex around once and I'm 92 lbs:D) even with my girlfriends I'm the one who isn't afraid to get dirty or pick up bugs and instead of gossiping I just go straight to the source. I also don't hold grudges or make drama. However I'm not attracted to girls and I do like dressing up and some other girlie stuff. Do other girls not like being treated like a "damsel"? I HATE when guys underestimate me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • you go girl!

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What Guys Said 16

  • you kind of sound callous imo. I love cuddling(maybe a bit too much) and am very intimate, I always communicate what iam feeling, never shut myself off to whoever iam seeing. I never assume anybody is a certain way and treat them as such. id just say you are who you are, everybodys different. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't take a compliment or doesn't like being loved/cuddled

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  • I like how you roll. Maybe you can elaborate on how guys "protect" you. I don't think someone trying to comfort you should be looked at as someone underestimating you either fwiw

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    • Yeah I know. Comforting I'm OK with if I go to them to talk about something but like I don't like how guys will step in to defend you if it's your fight. Say a guy says something disrespectful to me, I wouldn't want my guy to step in I'd want to handle it myself.

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    • Yeah I can tell... Once I saw your profile pic with the flowers in your headband, I thought to myself this girl should not be messed with :P

    • I don't have a bad temper but I'm not entirely passive. I hope I don't look mean D:

  • maybe your a southern girl? lol girls where I'm from are seldom the sort of sissies you see like that. they are effeminate but aren't these dainty little things lol there actually one of the few things us country boys are afraid of XP but I also don't know of any guys who want to talk about their feelings as you said

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  • I think everyone feels this way sometimes. Who wouldn't want to be independent and strong? At the same time men don't always get breaks that attractive women do. Being feminine or non masculine is just as bad some times worse. Ask a male nurse or flight attendant. If I was to guess it's mostly frustrations. But don't feel like you are alone... Now I am going to be stay at home dad today and no I won't wear a frilly little apron! =P

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  • You sound like a depressed child. Take some meds and you will be fine period :)

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  • Just tell them that you're an assertive girl and you like being on equal footing. As a guy we are more likely to be the "masculine" protector, rather playing it safe. Some girls might not care for it, but they probably won't get upset, whereas some girls WILL get upset if you treat them "like a dude".

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  • Well guys really don't have to talk about their feelings. I think If you have to talk about your feelings you've been brainwashed by society to think words are more important. Also if you have to talk about your feelings as a guy you probably don't know how to communicate fully with your body. I think 75% of language is through the body.

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    • Yes but if they're having a hard time or in the case of my recent ex, he was upset because he did something illegal and couldn't stop, how could you resolve that with your body?

    • idk. illegal to you in a relationship or illegal to the government. was it drugs you said? that hurt you and was illegal? what I'm saying is if for example he was sorry he could say sorry. his body cues might be supporting his words or they might not.

  • People just have different personalities. Not all girls act the way you described. And not all men are Macho.

    If someone treats you in a way you don't like... then tell them .

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  • Not everyone is the same, but there definitely other girls that are similar to what you are explaining. I'm interested in finding out more about the atmosphere you were raised in and the experiences you had growing up. A person will be a lot more open with their feelings if that's the environment they were raised in. If a person was raised in an environment where sharing their feelings was not as important they might find it harder to express them later on in life.

    I find it interesting that the two extremes, one who is open about their feelings and one who is not, always seem to find each other. The difference might not be extreme in the beginning but, I believe the miscommunication/misunderstanding between the two people would eventually amplify the situation.

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  • Are you dominant?

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  • well this is something new

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  • You should have NO trouble finding guys who are not into talking about their feelings or needing comfort from you.

    Honestly, you sound a little insecure about your stature and being a girl...like you have a chip on your shoulder and something to prove. If you can get past that, you sound like a very reasonable lady and one who most guys would be lucky to be in a relationship with.

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  • be thankful that you are a girl . You can be sad without being called weak and pathetic , be thankful that you don't need abs and a perfect face to be liked by the opposite gender , be thankful that you are valued higher by society , and you can be rewarded by men for being a woman ,while men have to do all the work . Be thankful that you can get almost any guy .

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    • Shut cho face you little bitch. All of my boyfriends were little crybabies and two of them didn't have any abs and one wasn't even cute and I loVed all of them.

    • Ha sorry I was sort of joking. I don't know if you'll be able to tell. But seriously your whining doesn't mean anything

  • You seem amazing

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  • You sound like my dream girl.

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  • I don't know any girls that act like a stereotypical girl. I am from the southwest and most of the girls here tend to act more manly than I do.

    Guys often offer help to a girl to be nice, not because we are underestimating the girl. Or at least that is the way it is with me. I think guys just like to fix things, and sometimes don't realize a woman is just venting and doesn't want our help every time they bring up a problem.

    I don't think you dislike being a girl, you just don't like the stereotypical image of what a girl is suppose to be in society.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Congratulations you don't like doing some of the stereotypes that are placed upon girls, good for you. -___- But you do know that besides your gender that you have a personality,right? Your gender doesn't make up what you will think, feel, etc. If anything with the information you have given you showed that you're the type of person who doesn't like to open up with others, direct in situations, and has an independent state of mind ( as many other ladies do. ).

    I don't mind if my man treats me like a lady and wants to protect me. I find it really sweet. xD

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  • There are other girls like you, me included. And yeah, it can be tricky to get people to stop treating you like a helpless being, but you gotta understand that guys like helping girls. They aren't necessarily underestimating you, they just want to feel like a man. If you don't like those types of guys, that's fine, but please don't think less of them for acting like that. It's just who they are. I had a similar mindset and it's just better to accept that guys want to help you and find a less manly man to actually date.

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  • You seem like a a cool type of friend to hang out with! ;)

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  • maybe you are just young and haven't met the right guy yet.

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  • all these are find and good as long as you don't want to get married...

    if you do, then your husband will not feel good about him self.

    just read more about the diff. between m/f...and decide what you want to do

    it is a challenge to understand ea. gender.

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    • I don't think so. My aunt is very similar to me and she has been married for twenty years. He's the cook and the more nurturer of the relationship

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    • I've dated around before. For long periods of time but not lived with them as I don't believe in doing so. Thanks I will try haha

    • it is the experience you live that you will get to know yourself better. have fun

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