How to deal with break-ups?

Any advice? I'm in the dumps, feeling depressed and heart broken.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I can answer this question for you. The most foolish thing to do after a break-up would be going for a rebound relationship. These rebounds are almost always guaranteed to fail. It is likely to leave you with a lot of bitterness which could take forever to heal, and it would also be totally unfair for your partner because he might have expected a long term relationship but it was bound to fail since it was a rebound relationship. Hence, please refrain from rebounds relationships at all costs, because such relationships are a sure fire recipe for disaster. Give yourself time to recuperate.

    Having said that, there are lots of thing which you CAN do, to deal with your pain. Getting drowned in music would be a good option. It is often said that music has charms to soothe a savage beast, so it can obviously heal the pains of a hurt 21 year old girl. I'd suggest you refrain from listening to romantic music or songs with lyrics related to love, because that might bring memories flooding back. This would actually nullify the purpose of you listening to music. But this doesn't happen with some people, so you're the best judge to decide if you're fine with listening to romantic music in your situation, although I wouldn't recommend you to take that risk.

    The next thing you could try, is to start playing video games. And no, I'm not referring to silly Facebook games like Farmville and Cityville. There are games which are totally immersive, and provide you with long hours of entertainment. Also, video games are excellent stress busters. I suggest you play games with high octane, fast and frenzied action, because that adrenaline rush is likely to numb your mind and make your forget your painful breakup to a certain extent.

    The next thing I'd suggest is to hang out with your female friends quite often, and have fun with them. I'm specifically saying 'female' friends because most males are jerks when it comes to things like breakups, and what they say might actually intensify your pain. And since you're single and in pain now, guys might use your vulnerability to start a relationship with you, which would again be a rebound for you. Also, girls are usually quite understanding in such matters, and offer you their shoulder to cry on when you're low. But there is a class of girls who actually enjoy seeing other girls suffer due to jealousy, so you'd better stay away from such girls.

    Finally, I'd suggest you involve yourself in some physical activity on a regular basis. Swimming would be the best option, because it REALLY de-stresses and refreshes you very effectively. If you don't know how to swim, then other physical activities can also provide almost equal benefits.

    I hope I have helped you a little bit at least. I may be a newbie on this site, but I deal with relationship issues on other sites such as Yahoo Answers. Feel free to contact me if you need further assistance. And please remember, strictly NO rebound! Take care, and have fun! Cheers! :)

    • Marry me? ha ha Wow, those were such wonderful ideas! Ideas I didn't even think of and thank you so much for taking the time to help me out. You have no idea how much this means to me. I don't have any friends that care enough to talk to me and all I've been doing is crying and driving myself crazy thinking about what went wrong.. Tomorrow starts a new day and I will be taking your advice so thanks again. Hopefully, I'll smile again sometime soon..

    • I'm REALLY humbled by your appreciation. I'm not a professional counselor. I'm just a normal 26 year old guy, software developer by profession. I've gone through immense pain and suffering due to relationships. Now I'm using my experience to help others in pain, so that they don't have to suffer the same way I did. Just the fact that my advice helped you, gives me immense satisfaction and happiness. I can offer a lot more great stuff to help you in this matter. Keep in touch. :)

    • By the way, I've accepted your friend request, so please feel free to message me if you need anything, or even if you just feel like talking to someone who actually understands the value of human emotions. And please remember, your tears are VERY precious, so NEVER waste them for people who don't deserve it. This is a very valuable lesson I have learned in my life. :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Well it's gonna feel like crap for a bit. There's nothing you can do The longer you put off the crappiness e longer its gonna hurt.

    So get it out of your system now. When your up to it, send some time with friends, enjoy yourself and put it out of your mind and just look for hapiness being single.

    A good rebound fling doesn't hurt ever. If you t least wait until your ready for it

    • Thanks that's what I needed to hear. It's better to let it go now. Suffer for the time being but look forward to happiness in my future...even though it's hard to believe I will find :(

What Girls Said 2

  • 1. wear your most comfy pajamas ever

    2. get out your ice cream. chocolate syrup is highly recommended

    3. plop yourself down in front of a TV or computer

    4. watch something that'll take you out of this time period, like a period piece... a story that takes place in the 1800s or something.

    5. keep yourself constantly occupied throughout the next few days.

    and if all that fails... I suggest becoming a bride of christ. he'll love you loooong time :D

    'F*** YOU' MUSIC: :D :D

  • do what I do find your next heart brake

    • Yeah, isn't that how it goes :/

    • no first you cry over him and remember all the good moments and cry cry until some hot guy catches your eyes then cycle begins all over again.

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