Something happened. Did I cheat? How do I tell him?

Hi there.

I was at a party with some friends from work the other night and some were drinking. I am 20 and so was not drunk. One of my coworkers (male) was fairly tipsy. He was who I happened to be sitting next to on the couch.

We were at my boss' house and were sitting in the living room after dinner attempting to play a board game.

I assume it was the alcohol, but this coworker, out of nowhere, loops his arm over my shoulders and kisses me full on the mouth.

I reacted by immediately shoving him off and switching seats. I wanted to leave, but didn't. The others, being tipsy themselves, laughed it off and so did he.

The other sober people and I slowly began to leave. I left between 15 and 30 minutes after.

This coworker found out what he did through other coworkers the next day (I sure as hell was never going to mention it) and he said he was sorry and blamed the alcohol.

I accepted this and want to move past it. However, I still feel awful about it and feel like my boyfriend should know. He and I have been together for two years. He's normally a very understanding person, but he was burned by an ex girlfriend who cheated on him.

His being cheated on has made him very protective of me. It hasn't made him super jealous and he is fine with me having male friends and he trusts me to be faithful to him and all but I know that he won't take kindly to hearing about this.

I still feel I have to tell him though. I don't like keeping secrets from him and it's tearing me up inside. I just feel like he's going to shut down as soon as I say, "Someone kissed me." and he's either going to be very angry with me over it or very angry with my coworker. Neither of which I want.

So my questions are:

Did what happened mean I cheated?

How do I tell him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • If someone else kisses you, you had no idea it was coming, and you did nothing to encourage it, then you did not cheat...

    However, since other people were there it is possible that the story of "you kissing this guy" might get back to your boyfriend. Therefore, I suggest that you tell your boyfriend what happened--just make sure you emphasize that it wasn't your fault and that the guy was drunk (so your boyfriend doesn't think he has to defend your honor)...

    Just say, "Honey, I was at this party and my coworker who had too many drinks kissed me for no reason. I shoved him away and moved across the room. There were other people in the room at the time, so it was just a stupid spontaneous act, and I left soon after. I really didn't think anything of it, although I wanted to tell you in case you hear a rumor about my coworker and I kissing." Hopefully, that should be sufficient...


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What Guys Said 4

  • You didn't cheat, and you SHOULD tell your boyfriend. Make sure you tell him the whole story too: the guy was drunk, kissed you out of the blue, and you pushed him away and sat elsewhere, and wanted nothing else to do with him for the rest of the party. Let him know that you don't want him to hear it from someone else, and that you have zero interest in the guy. Finally, let him know the guy apologized and didn't even remember it happening until someone told him.

  • Before he hears about it from someone else, have him meet you & a strong witness for coffee to tell the story blow by blow. Include how sorry the drunk was.

    If there ever is a meeting between Boyfriend & drunk in future, prepare the drunk with some history so he will be prepared for the worst & be proactive about telling Boyfriend sorry.

    We shall not go into the obvious detour discussion of work sexual harassment & how boss could have troubles & drunk fired.

  • You did not cheat. I wouldn't even mention because you did nothing wrong. You will make him paranoid for no reason.

  • You cheated, you're a big old slut bag. Jk You didn't cheat, It was a drunken mistake on some one else's part, not your fault in any way. Wouldn't tell you boy friend if he's the jealous type though


What Girls Said 2

  • that 's not cheating by the way you described it. You were coerced into a situation that you did not know he was going to mack you.

    Just say he came onto you without your prior knowledge.

  • Relax you didn't cheat... relax your good!

    If you tell him, his gonna start seeing you definitely and not

    Believe a word you say, if not break up with u.

    Again relax and forget it ever happened


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