Is it dumb to break up with my bf?

we were very happy together..best friends..the past couple of weeks we Haven't been our happiest...he got circumcised 2 weeks ago, I stayed at his house and took care of him for a week, and then when I went home I got in a minor fight with him about communication problems between us that I wanted us to work on (this didn't go well so it turned into an argument/fight about whether or not we actually do have communication problems -_-)...

well there was this chick lets call her A, who sent him pictures of her bum a while before him and I got involved. now, 8 months into the relationship and 2 days after I came home from taking care of him, he cleared his friends list of the skanks..but she was still there...i was upset about this (why keep just her..this was unacceptable to me..i didn't ask him to delete all the sluts but if you're going to do it, what's the point in picking and choosing which ones to keep around?) so instead of getting mad at him about it to tell him to delete her, I sent her a playfully threatening message...something like "if you send any more pics of your ass to [bf's name here] ill make sure you get 6 plastic horses up that skankhole. That is all. Have a good day". Now before you guys make comments that my boyfriend wouldn't like that and blah blah, him and I sh*t talk people all the time in games because were gay trolls (so go ahead and hate me, but don't let it bias your opinion on the point of this question pls lol). anyway...not only was he still pissed about the minor fight the day or two beforehand, A messaged him raging about me messaging her. and long story short, after asking the right questions to find out what was said between him and her (he deleted the convo..how convenient eh?) she was trash talking me TO him, my own boyfriend (which is expected)...but he also agreed with her and joined in on the trash talking (unexpected and highly unacceptable...definitely wrong).. I broke up with him over this. I don't deserve to be trashed on by my own man who participated alongside a skank who tried to get with him before! I love this man and would do so much for him, and I thought he'd have my back. every time dudes trash talk about him to me I tell them off and make them know that's my man and that I love him! I expected him to do the same.. he doesn't realize the severity of what he did. obviously now the trust is broken and his loyalty is questionnable..but id take him back in a heartbeat if he just showed me he regrets it and cares enough to TRY to get me back..

Now, just for clarification, my man is not a player, and would not ever cheat on me, and hasn't spoken to this girl in months prior to the scenario. Tell me if I went overboard, if he went overboard, what we SHOULDVE done vs. what we did do, and how CAN we fix this?
Updates:
Further important info that I couldn't fit in up there:

-my intentions on messaging her was so that she would delete him. but after he found out of what was said between us he deleted her himself (but was it to make me happy or just because he didn't like him anymore bcause he let me see her ass pic?)

-The thing is, early on in the relationship I broke up with him a lot over stupid things, and we'd get back together the next day. well we've been stable for the past 3 months. but now I'm like the
now I'm like the little boy who cried wolf. he thinks ill just get over it in a day like all of the other times and ill go back to him while he doesn't have to try and get me back. but I'm holding my stance on the break up to show him that it was seriously intolerable of him to do that. but I don't know if he'll ever realize the severity of it. he's a playful guy, sometimes doesn't know when to take me seriously. so I don't know if hell ever try to get me back which is honestly all I need right now...
ASIDE from your opinions on my sanity, I'm more interested in hearing your opinion on the entire breakup. So please tell me what you think about my way of going about it with the "break up" and all...is that too much? I just want him to know that I won't tolerate it. if I go crawling back so soon he's gnna think it wasn't a big deal, which it really is

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Most Helpful Guy

  • lol it was dumb. ull look back later and ask yourself "what was I thinking"

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What Guys Said 2

  • you sent her a threatening email. which is just a no go. it seems relatively clear taht he has some sort of feelign for her (either friendly or I guess more but clearly something is there).

    it sounds like you need to grow up and find better ways of communicating and expressing yourself. Threatening (jokingly or not) is not the mature way of handling anything and generally isn't going to end well. You need to address things with your guy not with the outsiders who he should maturely tell what's teh situation and make sure they act accordingly.

    just be more mature, communicate better, don't think your actions won't have some sort of consequence...because seen or unseen every action has a consequence.

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    • oh I am aware that my actions have consequences which I am willing and prepared to face.

      thank you for your answer

    • Show All
    • I'm trying to put myself in your ex's place. I don't know how I would stay neutral when my girlfriend threatened a friend of mine. I feel like I'd have to go to my girlfriend. "what the hell are you doing? I love you but this a friend, you can not threaten my friends". Now I don't know how close him and that girl are/were but it seems like they must have some relationship if he felt a need to defend her

    • im unsure how close they were too. they werent that close because they haven't spoken for months. but they were close enough..and she obviously had something for him so its ended. but I finally got my apology from him. and were sorting sh*t out now and setting down some rules.

  • Please use paragraphs.

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    • i had limited characters. I tried to minimize.

What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly ...You're a little crazy. That message you sent, doesn't sound playfully threatening at all. Just plain on threathening. You keep calling this female a skank but you probably never met her. But oh because she was sending pics of her backside to your man BEFORE. You were dating you're. Going to "warn" her? Oh but he didn't delete her but deleted the rest that's the problem. SO WHAT! He made you his girlfriend for a reason not her. There multiple reason why he didn't delete her. Maybe they are ACTUALLY real friends. As for your boyfriend and the female trash talking you, yeah that's probably uncool. But when a female gets a crazy message from an associate or friend's girlfriend who she doesn't know she's going to go complain to said associate or friend. No one got time for that lady. As for your man no one wants a chick that insecure. If ypu have no trust you have no love. So claiming you love him so much you wouldn't have got so worked up about it. You should of instead talked to your dude about it calmly instead of an argument. Would you have like it if he went through your phone and message a guy ypu didn't know something crazy not tell you and you found out in an argument and he dumps you for it?

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    • they are not actually real friends and I'm aware of this and he tells me this. I know I'm f***ing crazy. oh well. I don't try to hide it

      thanks for your answer

    • hmm just an fyi, I guess its more playful knowing that I obviously wouldn't do these things as one that's f***ed up and 2 I wouldn't get on a flight just to do those things. she never physically met my boyfriend before. she doesn't even live on the same continent as us! they just played video games together, and she sent him pics of her backside.. hmmmm ill call it as a see it. *cough*skank*cough*.

      on another note, you're right, most men avoid insecure women. my man was my best friend before my boyfriend and

    • he is fully aware of my insecurities and struggles. he's saved me from a dark place in my life that I'm still trying to get past. and, everybody is different. I trust nobody. but that doesn't mean I don't love him. and actually, I wouldn't mind if he went through my phone/Facebook and messaged a guy saying to back off his woman. and if you must know, I don't do anything that my man would dump me over. I'm too good to him

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