Two years later, I flew back for a vacation, met up with my closest friends and decided to invite him as well. I was nervous and uncertain about it at first cause I've never hung out with someone who confessed to me even though it's been long and he probably didn't like me any more.
Anyway, we all hung out together and through the day he mostly stuck to my side and to my surprise even dragged me gently by the wrist to a shop. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped and cheeks flushed at the contact at that moment. It also stopped when everyone said their goodbyes and left. We were the only ones left standing ever so awkwardly, thinking whether to hug the other or not. After all the fidgeting and awkward smiles, we left without hugging at all.
I noticed myself thinking about him often during my vacation. He also called the night before my flight back, wanting to cheer me up cause leaving my friends the second time was much harder than the first. So instead of crying, we talked on the phone for 6 hours — God knows what we talked about for 6 freaking hours.
I was pretty much "hung over" after that vacation. Leaving my friends, adjusting to the different lifestyle abroad... Leaving him without even saying how grateful I felt towards him and how I started liking him. I wrote my first confession letter ever. (Eeew so cheesy it's cringe worthy.) I sent it months after my vacation and when he received it I felt relieved, nervous then rejected.
Relieved that I was able to confess to someone. I never even confessed to the friend I've liked for 6 years.
Nervous when he got the letter. Asking myself, how do guys even respond to letters? Omg, did I seem desperate and creepy? Ugh, why did I send it?
Rejected cause though he liked me before, he wished to remain friends cause of the distance. He seemed bummed and all, but could you imagine how I felt? Weeeew.
So time passed, we still kept in contact. It lessened at first cause it felt awkward, but we've kept it honest ever since I confessed. In the months when we wouldn't chat, I'd think of him and convince myself to get over him and that I am, but whenever he talks to me again I just smile from ear to ear. He says he still likes me, kept the letter I sent him in good condition, but keeps distance. I told him I like him too, and that I think it'll always be there.
Did it sound like I wasn't serious about still liking him? He seemed really serious about how important the letter was to him and the fact that he still likes me, but still keeps his distance or avoids me... Am I thinking too much of it? I should just ask him directly shouldn't I? He's driving me crazy! xD