Would you divorce your spouse if you found out s/he has mental illness?

Hiding a mental illness prior to marriage. Would you divorce him/her?
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  • No
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Mental illness like anxiety and mood disorders..
Isn't it treachery?.. I personally would divorce her..

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, fraud is grounds for an annulment, so you may not even need to get a divorce. Also, mental illness is a grounds for divorce, and I'm guessing it's there for a reason.

    Anxiety? That's not even a substantial psychological issue to even be considered a mental illness, at least not in the eyes of a court. People are anxious all the time, they just learn to deal with it. If she has generalized anxiety disorder, and you two are married, then don't forget about your mutual duty to support each other (I'm not talking about emotional support, but financial support). The judge will tell you that all that stands in your way between a wife who has GAD and one who doesn't is a couple of session of cognitive behavioral therapy.

    Did you mean a "panic" disorder? That's a but more serious, and also something you would have been aware of prior to the marriage.

    Mood disorders are tough, and yeah, I would say that covering up something like that pretty much goes towards the basis of the marriage. I have a cousin with a mood disorder, and she has stupid parents who won't give her her medication or tell her psychiatrist that their child actually has a serious problem (they always downplay it). If I take a video of this child, she gets so out of control, you just feel like showering her mouth and eyes in 5.3 million SHU pepper spray, hooking her up to a high voltage shock collar with an extended battery and just leaving it on full power, while you take turns beating her with a baseball bat and yelling, "are you going to stop now? Is this how we behave?" But again, it's not "her" fault, it's the parents' fault. It's really hard to separate the "disorder" from the "person" suffering from the disorder. After a while, if it just goes untreated, the disorder just becomes who the person is. It's hard for someone to wake up one day and be able to reconcile 6 years of acting like a total b*tch around her sheltering push-over parents or in a school setting, and then tackle real life in college or in the workplace.

    As far as a cause of action for divorce goes, what many people don't know is that you need an affirmative misrepresentation in order to have fraud. Silence alone doesn't amount to fraud. So, unless she told you, "I have no mental disorders or illnesses of any kind, nature, or degree of severity," prior to the marriage, "AND" you didn't have "actual" knowledge or notice of facts to the contrary (which would make reliance on her misrepresentation "unreasonable"), then you don't really have a case for fraud. Also, you're not likely to succeed under the grounds of mental illness, because short of "manic" bipolar or some developmental disorder ("retardation or deterioration of the brain"), not too many things qualify as mental illnesses for purposes of divorce. Then again, maybe your state is different, plus you can always go the no-fault route if you need to.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Depends on the type of mental illness. He would act no differently after he told me. So if he already exhibited a mental disorder, but I didn't know he had a label for it, then the only thing that changes is my knowledge of its label. So it wouldn't matter unless he started acting differently after he told me.

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  • There's no divorce in my country but I think that can be use as ground for nullity of marriage but anyway married or not, I mean even if he is just my boyfriend I will not leave him. we will seek help together for his treatments and I'll support him continuously. he will feel love more than ever.

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  • treachery?! lmao. that's an awesome word.

    i wouldn't divorce him...but I also think I would have sensed that he had anxiety or a mood disorder. it's hard to keep those illnesses 100% hidden.

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  • Well it would depend on which one.Most likely not if I loved them I would try to look past that.

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  • if there nothing that could help him. and he shows signs of violence def he goes

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  • I wouldn't marry in the first place!

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  • Depends on the illness

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  • I need more information.

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    • Not for what you mentioned, no. That kind of stuff is manageable. Therapy, medication, that kind of stuff.

  • If its something small like depression then if you fell in love with them. Then you already love them and their mental illness cos its made them who they are. But if they decieved me then I'd never trust them. Ots a major thing like a genetic illness I need to be aware of before having children or an std.

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    • How is an STD a mental illness?

    • Show All
    • Not for the mental health issues you mention...no way! They could be managed.

    • Well it depends if you love her. When you love someone you overcome obstacles together. And unless theyve been diagnosed by a psychiatrist...then you can call it a disorder

What Guys Said 7

  • If they could hide it from me then I imagine its not that big of a deal, but either way I couldn't imagine going through a relationship with someone,the good and bad, and then proposing to her and all that good stuff, just to divorce her because of this. I couldn't live with my self being such a jerk face.

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  • I would try to work it out. The relationship is worth too much for me to just walk away.If she has been able to hide it from me it must be controllable and not debilitating. I would help her where I can. if it was too much I would end it, but I would definitely not walk away straight away

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  • Nope.

    (1) I have mental illnesses myself: OCD, Social Anxiety & Paranoia.

    (2) It is a marriage, meaning that you married the person because you loved them for who they are and because you are willing to stick with them through thick and thin. If I already loved her the way she was with her illnesses, why should I change now that I found out about them?

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  • Considering mental disorders can be developed it is based entirely on whether they are willing to seek treatment. If they are not, I would consider it grounds, simply because I could never allow myself to be with someone who was purposefully unhealthy. I presume this is a long-standing disorder; if they were depressed or anxious because of an event I would be a bit more understanding.

    How the hell did you manage to date and marry someone who "hid" their disorder for you anyway?

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  • No I would not.

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  • Depends on what you mean by mental illness. What kind?

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  • Voted C because that would depend entirely on the mental illness.

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