Is it bad that I genuinely hate my sister?

I don't know how to explain it. She's 12 and I'm 20 so I know that I should just get over it.

She's never done anything to me really. Just be extremely annoying. She doesn't overshadow me and I have no issue with my other two siblings so it's just her.

The only way I can explain it is that the mere fact that she walks the same earth as me and breathes the same air as me just infuriates me.

She just rubs me the completely wrong way. And my parents think that if we spend more time together this will be different but it doesn't work. Our personalities are so completely different that the fact that the other exists on this planet (and lives in our shared room) makes both of us so mad that we can't stand it.

The only thing keeping us from ripping each others throats out is that if we did my mother would literally kill the survivor. She'd take us round back and blast our head off. And she told us this.

So...should we go get help about this? Or is it normal?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a very common thing. I hate one of my sisters most of the time. I'm 22 and she's 19. All she does is sit in front of her laptop or Iphone and look at Tumblr all day long every day. I'm looking for jobs and occasionally taking a break and I get yell at I'm on my laptop too much. My sister also has these annoying habits such as not being quiet when people are sleeping, shoving her laptop in your face to see something she thinks is funny no matter how many times you no and she has a huge attitude when she doesn't want to do something. She's so selfish, yet I get a brunt of the parental yelling and punishment.

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What Guys Said 3



  • When I was 20 years old around this time of year (summer) I was working a college internship and living on my own (granted, the quarters were slum conditions and I had a roommate and I had a near-starvation diet).

    Why are you at home with your 12 year old sister? Your mother is playing peacekeeper?

    Come on, stop being attached to mommy's apron strings and grow up (and move out). Let your sister have her childhood.

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    • I don't make enough at my job to pay for school and live on my own. If I move out, my parents stop funding school. So...

    • Spend more time at campus. Use it as an excuse to do homework. You'll meet more people and get better grades. It'll also get you time to kill going through scholarships and the other various mountains of paperwork-related opportunities colleges have people do.

    • I already have a 4.0. But I do stay there all school year.

  • Sounds like you're probably more immature than your 12 y/o sister.

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    • Hahhahahahahah I agree

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    • dude, she's TWELVE YEARS OLD. Do you expect her to be preparing some dissertation on quantum physics or something?

      I mean, if its REALLY that bad, maybe suggest she be taken in for some psych analysis?

    • Oh that's been discussed.

  • ummm yes get help please. its really not normal to hate someone so bad without a good reason.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I would be a lot more judgmental, but I actually used to not be able to stand my younger sister so I can relate. Not NEARLY as vehemently as you, but we did not get a lot for a very long time. I found her annoying. I think it's very normal for older siblings to be annoyed by their younger siblings.

    There's a 7 year difference between me and my sister. I'm 21, and she's about to turn 14. Now that we're both getting older, I no longer find her so annoying. I actually enjoy talking to her now. I think we might actually be friends one of these days.

    I think it probably helps that I have my own apartment, and don't share a room with her, though. Maybe you should consider getting a job and moving out on your own, too. There's no reason why an adult should have to share a room with a 12 year old.

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    • I have a summer job. I live at school during the fall and winter. I'm living at home during college until I graduate. So I have three more years. I honestly thought I could handle three months with her but just no. It's not working. Moving out on my own is not an option right now because of money. I don't make enough to put myself through school *and* pay rent and not attending college is NOT an option so...there ya go.

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    • What she really needs (and everyone in my family agrees with me) is a good punch in the face. But sure. If she wasn't psycho and insane, maybe I could be nice to her. She has no friends because of her personality and I feel bad for her but I don't want to be friends with a spazoid either so...

    • Kids act up more when they are receiving a lot of bad criticism. Especially when it comes from "everyone" in their family.

  • Question. ... do you wish she would die?

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  • I kind of feel this way about my brother sometimes. Although I don't really want him to cease to exist. I just don't get along with him at all. We are two completely different people, pure opposites, and like oil and water we just don't get along.

    A lot of it has to do with how we are treated inequitably by our parents. My parents have always been easier on my brother since he is a guy and it's okay for guys to do things, but girls have to be perfect, and even if something happens that is out of their control they have to be punished for it.

    That was my childhood, and I am still feeling the brunt of it. I'm 24 years old, live on my own and have a career, my own car, yet my parents are always trying to nose their way into my life and tell me what to do. Yet at the same time they don't want me around and criticize everything I do. So I can't seem to make them happy.

    I come to visit and they get upset. I live over an hour away from them and only see them maybe once a month, sometimes longer.

    My brother is 4 years younger than me and makes more money than I do. But he lives at home. It's okay because he's a guy. It's also okay that despite being 20 years old, he doesn't have to do chores around the house. Yet since I was 8 I have had to do chores. I get yelled at if I am at my parents house visiting and he dirties dishes and doesn't clean them. Somehow it's my job to clean dishes for him? I refuse and leave if I am getting yelled at. And whenever I go home, I always hear my parents complain about how there's so much stuff around the house that doesn't get done and about how the house is always dirty, etc... Yet my brother is pretty careless about other people, refuses to help out. Like I just don't get it.

    So we don't get along. IMO, I think what you are experiencing is normal. You two have a significant age difference and personality difference. Maybe when you two are older you will get along. But right now it's pretty hard since you two are in such vastly different stages of life.

    I definitely think counselling would be a good way to process emotions you have. I know I would love to do counselling, but I just honestly cant' afford it right now.

    I don't think you are a bad person though. And I personally think it's great that you are identifying this as an issue. Having someone to talk about this in a constructive way without hurting anyone's feelings might actually make you feel better and give you ways to get closer and be more understanding towards your sister. If anything it will make you feel better.

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