Can't stop thinking of cheating... what should I do?

I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now, and really enjoy it and love my gf.

Around half a year ago I moved to another flat and one of my flatmates (female) and I really have gotten along. I really started liking her too.

At one point about a month ago we kissed and I told my girlfriend two weeks later... she took it hard but forgave me because I was drunk.

The flatmate is moving back to Europe in 1,5 weeks and we're going to have some drinks tonight, just the two of us. I haven't been able to shake the feeling of wanting to sleep with her even though I love my girlfriend. I kinda think I have feelings for my flatmate as well however and I'm sure she'd sleep with me if I wanted to.

What do I do? What if I end up cheating? I'm sure this would only be a one time thing since I'll never see her again and I'm ONLY interested in my girlfriend and ofc a little bit in my flatmate but the latter is mostly about sex.

I want honest awnsers, not the: You don't love your girlfriend kind off crap... caus I really do. I'm just confused.
I didn't do it after all... and it's weird to read this now. I feel like an idiot.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you doubt yourself in that you may cheat tonight you should: A) Break up with your girlfriend because she doesn't deserve that and it would only end up hurting her and breaking her heart OR B) Don't go out with your flatmate tonight.

    The choice is yours and honestly, if you get a little crazy when you're drunk, then why would you put yourself in the situation to cheat? You have total control of this situation. But really if you love your girlfriend as much as you say you do then you wouldn't want to f*** this other girl. Or at least not get drunk with her and make bad decisions.

    Think about it, is this girl (whom you will never see again) worth ruining your 2 year relationship with your girlfriend? What is more important to you? These are questions only you can answer. I don't think you're a bad person, I understand you're human and everyone makes mistakes or does things they will regret but really think hard about this. If you really want to have sex with this girl then please break up with your girlfriend.

    This is coming from someone who has been cheated on. It hurts like hell and could possibly scar her for future relationships. So if your flatmate is worth it to you, leave your girlfriend because she doesn't deserve to be cheated on and if you care about her at all then you wouldn't want to put her through that.


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What Girls Said 3

  • I feel sorry for your girlfriend.

    You're a weak man. If you're not going to cheat on her with this girl, you'll cheat on her with another girl in the future.

    Let your girlfriend go because she deserves much better.

  • Jesus Christ. You're a slave to your own perversion. Break up with your girlfriend. She needs a guy that can think with his brain not his wiener.

  • While I'm not doubting you loving your girlfriend, hanging out one-on-one with this girl is not only a stupid idea, but very disrespectful to your girlfriend.

    "I'm sure this would only be a one time thing since I'll never see her again and I'm ONLY interested in my girlfriend"

    It sounds like you're trying to rationalize yourself here. You already cheated on your girlfriend with this girl and should NOT be hanging out alone with her. You know that. Especially when you can't say for a fact that you wouldn't cheat again.


What Guys Said 1

  • You have two choices: Break up with your girlfriend, or don't go out with your flatmate. Because you are almost certainly going to cheat on your girlfriend. Doing something so naughty is a pretty common fantasy and pretty difficult to resist.

    If you want to keep the fantasy alive, you can f*** the flatmate, then break up with the girlfriend. Just don't lie to her. And don't try to work it out. If she took one drunk kiss pretty hard, then I can guarantee that this will be something insurmountable. Even if she 'forgives you,' and 'wants to make things work,' I promise that her trust in you will be irrevocably broken, even if she won't realize it. And that long drawn out slow breakup with her checking your phone and pulling her hair out in paranoia is just not worth it. Insert band-aid analogy here.

    If you decide to not go out with the flatmate, try some roleplay scenarios with your girl (you can find all sorts of starter guides on the internet). Speaking from experience, they can be kind of awkward at first, but once you get used to it, they can be -immensely- satisfying, and do a lot to quell desires like the one you're dealing with now, which all people face at one point or another in a relationship.

    • I agree with this answer, however break up first. I got dumped for another girl, but the guy was respectful enough to break it off first. It might not mean that much, but it makes you feel like you at least deserve that respect from the guy who loves you.

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