Ex contacts me after 3 years!?

Hi,

I am in a long distance relationship with someone that I really love and it's been one year. We plan on marrying each other and everything..

Last week, my ex of two years wrote me a pretty deep message saying how he regrets what happened and that I was his first real love and that he hopes I can forgive him ( It was like a whole paragraph). Two years ago, we broke up because we we're young and I felt like he didn't care and he wasn't the type to show his emotions. I since then have completely moved on and love my boyfriend!

I also recently saw his sister( I was really close to her) and she told me that he never forgot me and wanted to write a message a long time ago but didn't know how.

Then, his sister and I made plans so see each other to catch up and she decided to invite him(ex bf) . Everything was really chill, we talked like old friends and remembered everything. I started to think about the past, but I only want to be friends with him since we have lived a lot of things together. He then told me that he found it hard to see me without being with me, but that he wants to stay friends cause he wants me in his life? He also told me that he wants me to be happy and that he hopes I'm happy with my boyfriend!

I told this to my boyfriend and he wasn't really happy, especially since we're long distance, but my ex is really just a friend and now, I don't know if I should continue being friends with him ?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • it takes a high level of restraint and character to only be friends in situations like this. I 99.9% guarantee that your ex wants to get back together with you and sees friendship as a method to do so.

    I would be open to being friends (although not at the expense of your relationship) but at the first sight that he is not going to respect your relationship and the boundaries you put up I'd tell him sorry I don't think we can be friends.

    I've been in your place and the lure of going back to that relationship that is familiar and comfortable can be very powerful. It's a tough decision but if you truly love your boyfriend and he is not down with ex being a friend then you really need to consider what is most important

    ...me personally, maybe be friends from a distance or better yet not at all... but that is only my opinion

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What Guys Said 2

  • I can all but guarantee you that the ex doesn't just see you as friends, and he'd more than likely get back with you at the drop of a hat if he sensed an opportunity. So while you see a platonic friendship, he is (very likely) hoping to just buy some time and swoop in.

    This is how guys generally think, and it's why your Boyfriend hates this idea. He gets what's going on, but if he complains about it too much then he risks looking like a jealous weenie.

    This kind of thing is always a tough spot for guys. If you really love this new boyfriend, I'd drop the ex as a friend. After all, would you want your Boyfriend to be friends with an ex Girlfriend that totally wants to get back together with him?

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  • Not if he is going to try to interfer with your current relationship

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