Is it wrong for me to do this?

My brother stopped by my house to see how I was doing. To his surprised to see his EX wife was here. I told him that were dating. I know he was shocked and pissed because it's only be a year since the divorce and they have 2 young children together. I told him they aren't married any more so she is fair game. She said this won't change his relationship with their kids and that he will always be there father. He's upset and hurt. What should I do to help him get over it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dude, your brother's ex wife is NOT fair game. That's pretty messed, he may very well never get over this. How do you think that makes him feel? He's probably wondering if she had feelings for you when they were married, you aren't being a very good brother, you're more concerned about getting your dyck wet.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Technically speaking, yes she is fair game, but she is your brothers ex wife. I think you honestly should have talked to your brother before even considering asking her out. Your family comes first because when all is said and done they are the last ones to turn their back on you... Usually. But if you screw them over, that can easily.

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  • Yeah that is kind of wrong. There is not really anything that you can do to help him just get over it. If you were in his shoes wouldn't you be mad too? I do not mean to come off as judgmental at all, you are all adults so you can do as you wish technically, but at the same time that still your brother so you have kept his feelings into consideration. I feel bad for him...Hopefully you all just dated and nothing else, maybe ending things, apologizing, and doing some damage control may work...

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  • OMG I feel bad and hurt just reading this , I can't imagine how your brother is feeling right now! seriously I blame you both for this , it's just WRONG from all different angles! I don't how you ended up dating but if you have a little consideration for your brother's feeling you should stop this and try to work things out with him , if that was even possible ! :/

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  • Yeah, that's pretty wrong. Especially when you didn't ask him if it was OK with him first, or at the very least, warn him so he didn't just stumble into this most unwelcome surprise one day. If you had at least done one of those two things, he probably could have gotten over it relatively quickly. There's a possibility that your relationship with your brother will never be the same again. There's probably not anything you can do about it now. It'll just take time, probably a long time.

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  • Umm that was kind of a Low blow... He's probably thinking I'm not good enough for my wife and so she went to my brother. Might want to consider dating someone's else...

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  • ur the worst brother. how did you not think about your brother's feelings?.. considering his kids as well as your niece? if you end up with his ex wife.. how do you want your niece call you? uncle or step dad? can you imagine the consequences?.. sorry for telling you this.. but try to open your mind about this, you messed up with yourself, with your brother, along with the whole family that circulate with both of you ... about your brother, try to apologize and sort things out.. good luck on it.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You're quite possibly the worst non-criminal brother out there. Have you never heard of the "BRO-code"? You know, the article that says "A bro shall not date another bro's ex without his permission."? I'm sure there's a special clause for actual brothers and when marriage / children are involved. If you were my brother, I'd emancipate from you and declare myself henceforth brother-less.

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  • That's something you just don't do, EVER. It's pretty damn low to do something like that. No she is NOT fair game. Legally yes she's fair game. Legally she was fair game when they were still married. But just because something is legal doesn't make it right.

    "What should I do to help him get over it?"

    Stop dating her immediately. Break it off clean and completely stop all contact with her. Then maybe just maybe he'll eventually get over it. But I seriously doubt if he'll ever forget it or forgive you.

    Geeez, what the hell were you thinking? The worst part is that you don't even seem to get what you did wrong.

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  • 1. It is normal for him to be upset, it's human nature

    2. NO you aren't wrong in this situation especially if you love the kids too genuinely

    3. You really can do nothing to help him get over it, it's generally a case of ego which is normal

    4. I am unsure how did you wind up dating her but you may want to analyze yourself on the count if you look upto your brother and have even if subconsciously competed with him and coveted what he has 'acquired' - this will tell you about your own self :)

    5. I think and write logically and not in view of typical moralities of society and religion or general human perception which even if no one accepts stems out of insecurity.

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  • Wow you are a douche bag. He's your brother! Anyone your family dates is completely off limits

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  • He won't ever get over it. You betrayed him by hooking up with his ex.

    She was never fair game. You should have sided with your brother.

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  • You're dating your brother's ex-wife? Have you lost your mind? Bro's before ho's, big guy... Even if you stop dating her today, the relationship between you and your brother is going to take years to heal, if it ever does.

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