Do I have a chance of getting him back?

Me and my ex were together for a year and a half. We broke up on the 13th and I have only just realized how much he actually meant to me. I went away a couple of weeks ago for a holiday. Before I went away everything seemed fine when I saw him. We had sex for the first time in a while (we couldn't before because we never had alone time) and he kissed me goodbye twice and said "one for each week". When I got back we continued as normal for a couple of days. I was not able to see him as he was living at his Dads to attend his Nans funeral. In the same week, his brother had been born. So we are acting as usual and nothing seems wrong until he suddenly says "By the way, I encountered a real problem while you were away". I ask what he means, as it could be anything, and he tells me "Well, I haven't really done this with someone who I cared about. So I'm not sure how to stop it hurting. But other than that, I assume you know.". Here I made the mistake of begging him and wanting to know what brought this on. I asked for another chance. He said he doesn't love me anymore and that he isn't sexually attracted to me and sees me as a friend. After hours of begging I completely broke down and said some things that I regret. I have had problems in the past with eating and I told him that those issues have already risen again due to this. That I hate myself and I know it is all my fault. Here he says: "Well there was a chance to repair, but seeing the real you here, I'd rather not.". After more begging he blocked me.

A couple of days went by, I have given him space and not talked to him about any of this. Or at least as much as I can. We have spoken about other things as he got his results yesterday and I wanted to know how he had done. After that I left him alone, only to find a message from him the next day. We talked like nothing had happened and he invited me for a game. We had several games and he admitted he was impressed by how well we had worked together in it. The next day he messages me again and we talk all day (again). We had a right laugh and a joke about. He also tried to make me feel better after a friend of his upset me by asking me about us. Today he also helped me and made me feel better after an argument with my Dad. My Dad told me to grow up and get over him. He also said that my ex never loved me and doesn't know what love is.

He said when it happened that he will never give me another chance and that his mind is made up. He is stubborn and it's been hard to persuade him in the past. I know I have messed up and I have apologized to him for my actions and the reaction, saying that I was childish and just hurt.

He knows I still love him and I would do anything to get him back. I understand that the main issue is that I am too clingy and I just want the chance to prove that to him. I know that what I have done does not prove that but I know I can do it. I have a reason to try this time. Do I have a chance? I feel like I do if I'm careful.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should never feel the need to convince someone to accept your love. Ones love is the most personal gift that we can give to someone, because it symbolizes a person's importance to our lives.

    With that, the fact that he stated "there was a chance to repair" indicates that he did not love you enough to try to fix the issues between you two (exhausting all options) before reaching his decision to end the relationship. Instead, he opted to play games with you by breaking up with you and then give you hope . If there were ever a chance to repair, why break up?

    Sounds like games to me.

    That being said, we all make mistakes in life, so don't think your parting shots is the reason why he has not taken you back. He either using that as an excuse to stay a part, or as a method to keep you at bay until he's ready to take you back. Don't run after him. If he cares about you, he'll meet you half way to work through the issues. If he does not, tell him you deserve someone that will.

    Good Luck,

    • I just really want him back though. I can't stand not talking to him and knowing that it's over. I really do feel like I could give him space if we were still together, but knowing that is never going to happen I've lost all the will to try anymore. With anything really. Is there nothing I can do? Nothing I can say to just get him thinking about me again...

    • Show All
    • The problem is I move away in less than 3 weeks.. He's going to the same university as me and said we can see each other then. I want to see him before but I don't know if it's a good idea. He's already said "Not right now" when I asked to talk it out in person (since he ended it with me other the internet). I've also suffered from eating problems in the past and I'm sort of going back to that. I've eaten as much as I can but the thought of food is making me physically sick.

    • Do your best to get away from your eating problems. Again, I state, don't digress. As it will convince him that your issues has not improved, which will likely keep him away from you. If it helps, get rid of most or all of the unhealthy food in your refrigerator. Thus, eliminating easy access to this detrimental issue.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He was never serious about you, and he sounds very self-involved to me. Your dad is giving you good advice about this guy, imao. Wave goodbye. He said he would never give you another chance, so he has no reason to expect you to hang around.

    Your dad will approve!

    • I think he was serious about me :/ He was self-involved but I know he cared and still does a little.. Just not enough :/ My Dads a prick tbh... He's cold hearted and can't talk because he's cheated on my Mum at least 3 times and still managed to claw his way back. I just feel like all is not lost.. Is that stupid? I'm not the one going to him all the time.. It's the other way around..

    • 'Seeing the real you, I'd rather not." This guy is arrogant AND cold hearted..

What Girls Said 1

  • This is honestly my life story. But thing is I completely blocked him from my life (after I sent a long text saying how we could work things out because my ex and me were best friends at first..but he never text me back and has new friends) but the thing is to forget him and make yourself happy first (: if you make yourself happy, everything will follow (: I'm still in the process because I remember the good times we have , but giving advice like this helps too ! Just live your life and focus on you, trust me. You'll be happier and maybe someone else will come along who really deserves it (:

    You can message me anytime if you have more questions !


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