I personally believe that if you cheat and feel any bit sorry about it, you should own up to it and tell your partner. However, some people think that hiding it and trying to be a better partner is the way to go. The problem with this is that you not only betrayed your partner, but don't tell them because you want to make your own life easier and are living a lie. Here is an example of what I am talking about: link This is disturbing. Not only did she agree to lie and pretend it never happened, but the answers that said to hide it had the most upvotes. I noticed that women who are married seem to be the most likely to hide their affairs and get advice to hide it.
Why do some people think hiding it is a good thing? Or am I wrong in this situation? What do you think?
Most Helpful Guy
You see one edge of the sword. I see both.
You are completely right when the person who is cheating is profiting and it is a habitual behavior.
You are completely wrong when the person who is cheating made an error when confronted with a volatile situation.
The reason isn't the cheater, but the cheated; in the habitual scenario the cheated needs to know for their own safety and primarily so that they can make an informed decision. The single-error scenario is already volatile so that could drive the cheated to some dangerous extremes. Ironically when considering the two the guilt shift is totally different as well.
In scenario A the guilty party feels no guilt and thus the information is easily hidden.
In scenario B the guilty party feels extreme guilt and thus the information is incredibly difficult to hide and bear.
The punishment of bearing the mark in your own mind is more than enough for B, knowing that they themselves are despicable in their own eyes, yet doomed to stand in this lie for the rest of their time whilst genuinely supporting their partner in all ways they can. The duality splits the mind and ... well, GaG!0