When is it too soon, or is there really a timeline?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over 5 months. Things have been good so far. We get along well and communicate really well. We haven't had a big fight, although we have had our disagreements. We always seem to talk them out and work out a solution that works for us.
My boyfriend for the past few months has been asking me to move in with him. I currently live 30 min away from him, but am down every weekend, and sometimes during the week. I like being around him, and staying with him. And do like the idea of us living together.
However, one thing that holds me back is that everyone says moving in too soon is bad. But really is there a definite too soon? Or does this depend on the couple?
We are not teens or in school. We have both graduated and have started our careers. We both already live on our own and have for several years. I'm 24 and he is 28, turning 29 at the end of the year.
I am planning on saving up some emergency money if this doesn't work out.
The main reason I want to live with him is because I enjoy spending time with him. And I feel that if we live together, we would have more quality time with each other. But I still have my own stuff I like to do as well. Plus I would be in the city that I love (I lived there before for 2 years).
I also have lots of friends here and it's closer to my family.
So what do you guys think? Are we incredibly naive? Or do you think this might be the best choice? I plan on sitting down with him and having a serious talk about living together.
Any tips, advice or suggestions are welcome :)
Most Helpful Girl
I think you're thinking too low of your own judgement. I am 21 and I trust my instincts. You bet if I thought moving in with my boyfriend, at 24, was a good move to make, I'd go for it and not look back. I'll tell you how things are with the couples I know, if you're interesting in the comparison.
1) My boyfriend is 23, I am 21, going on 2 years together. Live apart. Boyfriend still lives with his family. I live with my brother in an apartment, about an hour away from my boyfriend. We see each other once or twice a week. I am DEFINATELY hoping he'll tell me he wants to live with me around this year, since he'll soon finish his master's and we've been together for a long time without a lot of quality time, so I NEED more closeness in the near future.
2) Girl met boy during high school. 7 years together. Never lived together. Bought a house together the year the girl was graduating (guy is older), in December. Were about to move in but the guy choked and dumped her (he calls it a ''break'') in June. Needless to say, the girl was devastated and my jaw dropped to the floor. Guy is currently living alone in the house.
3) Girl and boy are together for at least 4 years. Not living together. The girl lives with her family, the guy has always had flatmates for the past years. Both graduated this year and the guy renewed his rent with another dude. Still no known plan to live together. My bet: They'll move straight into a house of their own.
4) Guy and girl are together for I don't know how long. Guy lived with another dude for a whole year, in an apartment. Graduated, then moved out to live with his girlfriend.
5) Guy and girl are together since a few years. Guy moved out of his parents' house after graduating. His girlfriend had been working full-time for 2 years already, so they bought a house together in a remote city. Guy still doesn't have a job after graduating (although girl makes a ton of money).
6) Guy and girl dated for a year or 2, knew each other for a few more years before. Guy lived in uni residence, girl lived in an apartment alone. Girl had been working full-time and making a lot of money for the past 2 years. Decided this summer to live together. Got an apartment and are splitting 50/50 although the guy is still a full-time student at uni. Girl provides car that she paid for.
So as you can see, all situations are different. To me, graduating is the breaking point. I think that past then, you know what you need and what you want in life, career-wise and for a partner. So the choice is yours, but honestly, I wouldn't move in with my SO if I didn't see myself marrying him in a few years. That's my personal preference though.2