Should I tell him that I'm cutting it off?

Ok, so it started out as an amicable breakup in February. We both had issues come up in our lives that made it harder to be in a relationship. We lived together and and continued to do so after the breakup until the lease on our apartment was up in June. He then moved to New York and I stayed in Philly. We kept in touch basically everyday and it was pretty awesome. We started talking about what it would take to get back together. I came up and visited him NYC and we had the best weekend. We kept talking about how we were working on ourselves and getting things back on track because we were so awesome together. I'm an idiot.

The day before I was supposed to come up and visit him again last week, he let me know he was seeing someone else. In an email. After he told me to go ahead and buy train tickets and I worked extra hours early in the week to get out early on Friday and took a vacation day and he told me how much he wanted to see me. So that was sh*tty. We talked and had it out later that night, and he promised we'd remain friends and I told him that if he's going to say that he has to mean it. But now he's ignoring me. So it's obvious that I need to move on and I should cut off any contact. However, I'm on his cell phone plan. He said he wanted to pay my part of the bill until the contract was up on it (which would be next year), but now I really don't want him doing me favors and I don't want any reminders of what a d*** he is. But at the same time, I don't want to be so much of a d*** that he's flushing almost 100 bucks a month down the toilet for the next year. Actually, I kind of do want to be that much of a d*** right now, but I'll probably feel guilty about it in a few months.

So how do I go about this? Should I just let him know that I'm getting my own cell phone and he can do whatever he wants with the cell phone contract? Should I write him an email letting him know that I'm cutting off contact and moving on? Or should I just let him figure it out on his own?


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What Guys Said 1

  • So what I'm getting from this is...

    You guys broke up.

    He started seeing someone else.

    You assumed that you were coming up to NY to get a booty call, not see a friend.

    You got pissed at him because he didn't tell you until after you already made plans for said booty call.

    Then he said he wants to be friends (which I'm guessing is what he wanted all along).

    And then you said he has to mean it. (what does that even mean? he obviously wants to just be friends if he wants you to come see him while he's dating someone else.)

    It sounds to me like you're being ridiculous. Step 1: Accept that he is dating. You are, after all, no longer in a relationship. Step 2: Go see your friend in NY. Have fun with him. Don't try to f*** him. Step 3: Move on with your life. Get out there, meet some new people (read: guys) and be happy.

    Assuming you don't want to do any of this and still want to 'cut him off,' offer to pay the cancellation fee on the cell phone contract. Since you're the one who doesn't want it anymore, it should be your responsibility. If he doesn't want you to, fine, his problem. And ffs, of course you should let him know you're cutting him off. Why wouldn't you?

    • Ummm... maybe I didn't make myself clear above, but getting back together wasn't some stupid wish I had in my head. We had multiple conversations about about it. Most of which he initiated. While he was dating someone else and waiting to see what the better option was. Then, when he couldn't hide it anymore, he decided to tell me in the most cowardly way possible and then wanted friendship. I didn't travel 2 hours for a booty call with an ex.

    • So why then were you going to go see him?

What Girls Said 1

  • If you really want to be nice, tell him you'll pay half of the cancellation fee to get out of the contract. He is the one who offered to pay your bill, so you really don't owe him anything, but that would be a nice gesture. Then, yes, I would break off contact. Do you really want to be his 'friend'? The one who will be put on the wayside because his new woman will always come first before you? Plus, if they didn't work out and he wanted you back, would you really want him after what he did to you? From his actions, it doesn't sound like he has qualities to be a very good friend anyways and probably just wants to keep you around for a backup. OR he was just saying he wanted to remain friends to save face because he knows what he did was dirty and wrong. If I were you, I would offer to pay part of the cancellation fee and then never speak to his sorry ass again. That would be your best revenge (in a sense), if when he tried to contact you again you completely ignored him.


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