Fiancé cheated and don't know what to think or do. HELP!

My girl cheated on me and so hurt I don't know what to do or think. We have a child involved and don't know if I should call it quits or try and work it out and try and trust her again. Any help, tips or advise would really help me out

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You two need to sit down and talk. But don't forget to sit down and think about how you feel about this first.

    Is this something you can forgive her for? Or does it upset you enough to leave her? The choice is truly yours. From your answer there is no way to know whether this is the first time she has done this, or if there have been issues in the past.

    If this is recurring behavior for her, then maybe it's time to move on.

    However, if this is the only thing she has done, and you can find it in yourself to forgive her, then maybe it's okay to stay? The decision is up to you :)

    You have to decide if you can live with this or not. If it's affecting you, then you need to deal with that. Set up some counselling for yourself. If you truly want to continue the relationship, then it's a good idea to seek out couples counselling.

    The only person who can decide this is yourself. The decision won't be easy, you also have to consider your child. But you can't stay together just for your child. If this is making you unhappy and you aren't able to live with it, then your child will be affected by your unhappiness in the relationship.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I know most would say, everyone makes mistakes and deserve a second chance.. Well.. I'm not like most in any way... I wouldn't ever give a person who betrayed me, a second chance.. I have too much pride... and irrelevant to how much others say that's wrong, I don't care.. It's how I am, and I wouldn't give a second chance (people do deserve a second chance, but not with the same person) .. Even when it's me at fault, I do not think I deserve a second chance with that same person ... How I see it is.. If you screw up, then too bad. Hopefully you learn from that and try again with someone new (there's your second chance) and what went wrong won't repeat itself if you truly learned your lesson.

    & Yeah, I know people say when there's a child in between you should try to stay together, I on the contrary, precisely because there IS a child, I wouldn't stay with someone who hurts me, emotionally, or physically.. People hardly ever change, and if it happened once it's bound to happen again... no matter what.

    Whatever you decide, I hope it's for the best. Good luck.

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  • I could not tell you if you should call it quits. I know that is hard to deal with, if anything, and if possible it would be great if you could just have some time and space to clear your head and figure what you want to do. Because you do have a child, no matter what decision you make she will always be in your life, but ultimately it is up to you if you will be able to work on it or decide to end it. Some space and time would at least help you think clearly about what you want to do.

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  • I need to ask you WHY she cheated? The reason determines if this can be worked out. For instance, if you cheated in the past, and she did it because you did, etc. Like you said, child involved so you should not just walk away.

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  • DUMP HER. nobody is worth YOUR pain.

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  • You can always discuss it with her

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What Guys Said 5

  • Sorry man but its over. You would be a fool to EVER marry this girl. I realize this sucks, but consider yourself lucky that you found out the truth about how much she "really" loves you. Better now, than post wedding. She's cheated, disrespected, lied, hurt, and embarrassed you. You would never date a girl who did that to you, and it should go without saying that you should never marry a woman like that either.

    Do whatever is necessary to prove legally that you are the child's father. Be the best dad you can, and in the mean time, life goes on. Pick yourself up. Use the hindsight of this failed relationship to equip yourself for detecting the little red flags that are ALWAYS present in a failing relationship. Use this new knowledge to protect your heart in future relationships. You're young, you'll be okay, even though it might not feel like it now. From an outsiders prospective, you dodged a bullet here. It might be a while before you agree, but you will come to the same conclusion in time. Best of Luck to you and your child.

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  • The fact that you're even asking this lets me know you don't want to leave her.

    Stick with her. But when she cheats next time don't be surprised.

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  • I think that the smartest thing for you to do is to talk to her. My fiancee and I split about 7 months ago...It was the second time that I know of that cheated, I'm pretty sure there was a 3rd time as well. I didn't sit down and talk with her, I simply left the day after I found out. But there was lots of other things as well. With you have a child involved I think you really need to think about the child, not yourself.

    I wish I would have talked it out with her before I left, or I used to. But now I am glad that it happened, like I said lots of other reasons. Just know that you need to really really think about it before making a hasty decision. If you do decide to stay and work it out, you HaVE to make sure that she knows and is willing to do whatever she needs to, to keep you and earn your trust again. You will question everything she does for a long time, and she needs to understand that.

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  • Whether you two stick it out, make it work or not. It's kinda over isn't it. You're pretty much gonna have to put alot' of energy in rebuilding some trust huh. While that happens you might wonder if she's really where she say's she is or with some guy.

    Look it's up to you if you can forgive her, I know I wouldn't be able to. Since a kid is involved things are a bit more difficult. She obviously didn't take that into consideration but now you're expected to? More than likely she'll do it again and don't be surprised of there's been others she hasn't told you about.

    Keep in mind, you're still relatively young. There's someone out there that'll make you just as happy and would never cheat on you.

    Remember, if you do forgive her that's it. You can't reheat her past mistakes for breakfast every morning. You have to able to find peace with it. Can you live with that? I guarantee you if she does cheat after you forgive her you're gonna feel even worse. I'm sorry man : (

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  • You can't just decide to trust her again. She is the one responsible for earning your trust. It is unlikely she will ever be faithful. She is a selfish person that has no respect for your relationship. Nothing is likely to change this. You could try and give her another chance since you have a child together. I think most people given a second chance will hurt you again. So she will have a lot of work to do to repair the damage she has done.

    You may want to plan for a worst case scenario involving your financial assets as well as child custody. How you are hurt could change based on whether you are divorced or just split up before marriage. I would do some research and look into child custody, and such before deciding how you want to proceed. My advice is try to leave your emotions out of this decision and protect your self.

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