I just called my girlfriend by my ex's name...What to do?

I was playing an online game with my friend and we were talking about stupid stuff. My girlfriend was laying out with her legs over me. I mentioned that I had to pee and he said then go! I said I can't dude, [Name of ex] is on me. I do not know where the hell that came from or why I even said that. I feel terrible. Now she wants me out and said that that did it for her. Her ex was a real piece of sh**. He cheated on her and called her by his ex's name and now she feels that I'm the same as he is. We've been together 8 months and I've never done any of that.

From a psychological standpoint, I only see 2 theories at why I would say that:

1: The friend I was talking to, I hadn't talked to him constantly like I have been since I was with my ex. The 3 of us were always talking about something every day. Then he stopped talking to me for a while and just now we started talking a lot again.

2. Me and him talked about my ex the previous night because I was having issues dealing with my ex because her name is on my car title and she is throwing a fit because she wants it off.

Whatever the case, I need help! I do not want my ex back. I do not still have feelings for her. Nor do I talk to her. I love the person I am with.
Updates:
i did try explaining to her why I would have said that but I told her I still didn't know why I even would. now I have a week to get out.
thanks for all the advice everyone :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Here's a crazy idea.

    Let her cool down...

    ...then show her this question.

    Tell her you were so damn panicked about losing her over using your ex's name that you immediately sought the "How do I fix this" advice from everyone you knew- and everyone you didn't (us, here).

    If you want to go a step further, ask her how would she answer this question, then be prepared to do EXACTLY what she says in her answer.

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What Girls Said 16

  • shes being way to harsh BUT I see why she would be if that happened to her before. I would feel bad if my boyfriend called me his exes name, I would feel like I was just like the person he didn't want to be with and so he doesn't want to be with me.

    BUT she has to realize that things happen on accident too. my gramma calls me by my moms name ALL THE TIME even though they don't sound the same at all. its a subconcious thing, and sometimes it can slip out.

    it could also be that way if you said your exes name a lot when you were dating, so its a subconcious habit.

    show herhow much you DONT want to be with your ex. dig deep and tell her what she wants to hear. its gonna take a LOT of convincing since someone already did that to her before.

    i wish you luck, if hypothetically she does break up with you, would it break your heart or would you get over it quick? how much does she mean to you? if she kicks you out, show her that you don't want to leave, that youd be miserable without her. see what happens. good luck!

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  • Your current girlfriend is being way too harsh.

    If all of this time there was no indication that you wanted your ex back and you have been treating her good for the 8 months, then she needs to calm down.

    You need to speak with her and apologize.

    Tell her you don't know why that happened, but you love and want to be with her.

    Try inviting her out to dinner or something she really likes, sort of as a "make up".

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    • well we live together and the past 8 months I haven't always been good. I can understand if she feels hurt by this because I would be hurt too! She's the type though that gets angry and doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say because it's all "bs".

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    • she's not in my phone and she's blocked on Facebook. I just don't know what to do in this situation...

    • Let her cool off for a few days. She's probably just beyond angry. Try talking to her when you feel like she is. Then calmly ask, "Can we talk". Then look her in her eyes and tell her how you feel about her. And that your ex. will never come up again because she is blocked out off your life.

  • Trust is important in a relationship. Just because she got betrayed by her earlier boyfriend doesn't mean all the men in the world are the same. Just cause one man cheated on her doesn't mean all the guys she dates will. This incident clearly shows she hasn't been able to trust if she did she would have sat down and demanded a explanation. She would have given you a opportunity to explain yourself.

    Dump her and move on she doesn't deserve anything from you.

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  • Well, I'd be pretty upset too but I wouldn't kick you out! Just let her cool down then talk to her, she should be an adult and TALK to you. After all, that's what a relationship is all about too, communication. If that doesn't work then move on I suppose.

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  • Her behavior is completely logic. Especially since she was hurt in the same way before. The fact is-figure out why you did it since your exs name came from your head as the name of your girlfriend. And when you feel sure bout that try to talk to her. Women in love do forgive.

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  • Ur ex is definitely on your mind otherwise you won't call out her name but doesn't mean you are still in love. You will have to convince your girlfriend about this and to be sincere and apologetic. If I were her, I would be very angry too

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  • Give her a few days and then tell her that you miss her and you love her and you have no feelings for your ex. You can even show her this question, the last three sentences of it.

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  • i feel bad for you, calling a girl by your exs name is very insulting and hurtful. in her head because you came out with that she thinks you miss or were thinking about your ex being there instead of her and she will think that anything you say is a bs excuse to cover it up (I understand it probably wasn't but you're going to have the toughest time ever convincing her and even then she will be suspicious and funny with you for a while until she gets over it)

    the fact that youve talked about your ex before is probably making her think "why is he still talking to her and now calling me by her name, he obviously wants her as well or instead of me"

    you need to show her your ex is blocked from everything (dont tell, show), complain about how you hate your ex and you only were friendly to sort the car thing out and make it up to her by having a meal out and a romantic night in just you two watching movies, don't try to sleep with her though she might still be mad enough to refuse

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  • That's stupid she would break up over that. I accidentally called a boyfriend I had an Ed's name and it sort of hurt him but he realized it was just a stupid accident and life went on

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  • At least you weren't having sex when you said the wrong name. There is nothing you can do. It really depends on how reasonable a person she is. It's up to her whether or not you can recover from this.

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  • Do something special for her to show her that you care and apologize.

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  • Just tell her it was an accident and prove it

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  • You should choose a best answer

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  • lololololololol that's a real mess, man. Make it up to her. I believe you that you didn't genuinely have thoughts about your ex and are happy with your lady. people mess up their words all the time. sh*t happens.

    The thing is, you have to make your lady believe it. For me, although I may push you away, it's subconsciously a TEST. When I push my man away sometimes and I'm hurt, it's actually because I want him to fight his way back to me. Prove that he really cares and wants me. Go above and beyond. Show up at her doorstep with flowers and apologize. Show her your cell phone messages. Show her your messages with your ex. Tell her how much she means to you. tell her how much better she is than your ex. Tell her that you are nothing like her ex, and prove it as much as possible. Hold her tight.

    ...don't get abusive if she fights you :D just hold her back

    Showing her this question if she doesn't believe any of the above is also not a bad idea.

    Best of luck.

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  • It's understandable that she's suspicious and irritated, but if she doesn't cool off and come around the relationship isn't very stable, anyways. The phrase "that did it" ... could imply some other issues that may have been building up...which are quite possible nothing to do with you exactly or the relationship per se.

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  • She's being illogical and unreasonable.

    DONT tell her that of course. However, if she's smart, perhaps appealing to her sense of reason might be a good idea.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You have to think quicker on your feet bro. If I was you I would have played it off as a joke right then and there.

    As for now most you can do is tell her you are sorry and that you didn't mean it. Give her some time to cool down before trying to work it out. If he you keep bugging her it's only going to make it worse.

    If that doesn't work turn it around and make her look like the bad one. Tell her she is just using this as an excuse because she doesn't really care for you. It hurts because you feel like she doesn't care and think this is a ploy just so she can find someone else. Tell her she has been feeling distant. Make sh*t up man...all is fair in love and war.

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    • The reason this is getting downvotes is because if the OP is not single based on the action described above, he will be shortly if he follows your advice (in that 3rd paragraph).

      Just letting you know.

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    • Reverse psychology? Nah bro, that doesn't work

    • The reason I get down voted is from women that can't handle the truth. As for my third paragraph...it beats trying to kiss her ass. Hell she is the one being immature and petty. My true advice would be to let her ass go and let the door slam behind her. No time for ignorance like that. He would be better off! There are plenty of women.

  • Lol c'mon I regulary call my girlfriend by my ex's or ex-crush's names when talking with friends by accident. Never when she is around though.

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  • she's being a total bitch and treat you like sh*t. I think she's using it as an excuse. I agree with Anthony. Don't be soft after what she has done to you, unless you want to be used as a doormat from here on.

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