What is my ex doing?

So I've been very confused by my ex. We used to be friends with benefits for a couple months after he broke up with me. Then I ended that because he was confusing me by saying he loved me and stuff. But that he only meant that as a friend. However lately we've been sleeping together again. And he'll invite me over just to hold and snuggle with me. He finds fault with any guy I date. It's not just sleeping together though. We hang out for hours during the day/ evening. We went out drinking and he was teaching me some pool tricks, and he couldn't keep his hands off me.

He was supposed to teach me about Portuguese wines for this lecture I'm going to, but his lesson only lasted about 5 minutes. And he said he really just wanted to hang out with me. Also I could win a trip to Portugal if I score well, and he said he wanted to come with me.

Then in our conversation our break up was brought up. He said that if he wanted a girlfriend it would be me, but that he's done with relationships. Then later while we were walking down the street he kept asking what he is to me. He said that he wouldn't see anyone else, and he hasn't been with anyone else. (We broke up around late February)

I had asked him if he wanted me over that night and he said no because he had things to do the next day and he would just sleep in with me there. Then a half hour later I get three missed calls from him. And texts saying he wants me over. He made a mistake, he wants to be with me. He texted love you.

What is with this guy? He's attracted to me, enjoys hanging out with me, can't keep his hands off me. And he keeps saying he loves me. He says he means it as a friend, but I know he doesn't say that to his other girl friends. Does anyone understand what's going on, lol? Thanks


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What Guys Said 2

  • He wants to be with you without labeling it. It seems that he wants all the benefits of being in a relationship with you but does not want to be obligated to you, even though he has feelings for you. It's quite similar to having a de facto girlfriend. The guy is having his cake and is eating it too. No pun intended.

    In all fairness, he is being upfront with you. Thus, it's on you to right anything that you perceive as a wrong.

    Good Luck,

  • Clearly, he understands "friends with benefits" as "let's pretend we never broke up."

    He's hoping that spending time with you acting like a couple, doing the kinds of things that couples do, will make you reconsider and want to "officially" get back together with him. He's trying to put in enough time with you so that you bump him back up to boyfriend status.

    He is not over you. I love my friends but it's not something I verbalize very often.


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