Why does my boyfriend seem distant?

My boyfriend and I started hanging out in January. From the beginning he would always say that he didn't talk to other girls. Whenever we would hang out, he would always act super into me. After we had been hanging out for a while, I started to question why we weren't actually boyfriend and girlfriend. Everything about our behavior was as if we were in a relationship, but for some reason he didn't want the label. He eventually made excuses about not being ready for a relationship, but always said that it had nothing to do with other girls. Eventually, I needed more, and I made it clear that if he didn't want to make things official, I would start hangin out and pursuing other guys. Not long after, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Everything seemed to be fine until he looked through my phone,for no reason,so I asked to look through his. He thought he had nothing to hide, but he had forgotten about a girl he used to text when we first started hanging out. What I saw was sexually explicit and heartbreaking. The worst part was that he had lied to me the whole time, telling me there were no other girls. This was after he had lied to me about hanging out with his ex. I forgave him, in the end, for all of it, but now I am worried that without the possibility of other girls he has lost interest in me. He cheated on his ex, and now I'm scared that he just doesn't have what it takes to be loyal. Is it possible that he is just the type of guy that is only content when he has the attention of multiple girls?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay I disagree with the other answer because I know you like this guy and you DONT want to run like hell. I think you should just tell him "If I ever catch you lying that's it for me, no second chances." Look, the guy obviously cares about you or he would not make you his girlfriend. he did those things when he wasn't exclusively with you anymore. JUst tell him what I said above and if he cares he will be affected by what you said and it'll make him realize that he can't lie to you. You can also tell him you don't trust him 100% and say you will both have to work on that. I think that's all you have to do, you do not have to dump him becuase you obviously like him or you wouldn't be posting this question. Just talk to him maturely and set him straight. Say he'll have to work on his trust and you'll work on yours.

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What Guys Said 1

  • it seems like this guy has commitment issues as well as a problem being honest. the decision to be with him is 100% yours and it's hard to say that he requires the attention of multiple girls. But it does seem like a relationship is a bit perilous. I'd definitely be concerned why for so long he didn't want to define the relationship.

    Like Helpha said I would just lay the cards on the table, if I catch you f*cking around that's the end, no excuses or explanations.

    The fact of the matter though is that he perpetuated a lie for months, and that is only the lie you were able to uncover. I'd definitely wonder what else is going on you haven't found out about.

    but trust your gut. if you feel like he just isn't trustworthy I wouldn't put yourself through the trouble of giving him a shot. If you feel like he may have made a one time mistake then maybe give him a shot at redemption.

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What Girls Said 2

  • sounds like you know the answer,trust your gut it never steers us wrong..he is a liar,he looked through your phone because he is guilty of doing dirt,if he cheated before chances are he has no decency or standards,run like hell

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  • Just be careful tell him you trust him if he really likes you he won't lost intrest in you

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