Is he waiting for me to make the first move?

Let me just say I don't mind if he's a shy quiet guy I find guys that are loud a turn off. Over the last two weeks the guy I like has been hot and cold. One moment he's giving me serious eye contact smiling etc, so I think yippee, the next time we meet he'll look at me but look away when I catch him but the rest of the evening will talk, laugh with and tease one of my friends! He did however move his drink so that I'd have to reach round him to pick mine up and he sat and talked to another friend next to where I was sitting. He did everything where I could see it too and walked by me quite a lot. I'm usually the one who starts talking to him so I was trying to see if he'd start talking to me! Looks like it back fired but perhaps he's just shy, he does keep himself to himself but appears out going some of the time, except with me.

Aaaaagh! I think he is relatively inexperienced around women except as friends. Is he waiting for me to make a move?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi,

    It's kind of funny because the hot and cold routine is very common throughout history for dating/flirting, but it's normally used by women. It's infuriating to men even though we use it all the same.

    There are three possible things that I see here: he could be impassioned by thought of the girl taking control, he could be shy, or he could be taking control and playing the game of hot and cold.

    First, he is someone like me that actually enjoys the girl making the first move. In a society, where the guy is expected to make the move it is extraordinarily enticing to me for the girl to be "overwhelmed" by me. Now, it's understandable that she could just be impatient, but it is without a doubt sexy to me if it is done at the right time. So, he might not be shy and just patient.

    Second, he is actually the guy that is "shy", or more likely, he is concerned about the outcome or rejection (Happinesses grumpy brother). The response is pretty much the same as number one and he might just need a bit of prodding. The good news is the shy ones are not usually the cheating type. It's not because they are unable to do it, but they are quite oblivious to what is going on.

    Lastly, he's playing games with you and this one is beyond my experience. I find them dishonest and quite frankly boring. Anyway, if that is the case good luck. It will be easy to tell he will constantly do the same move or try a similar one. If he plays the silly games like other guys drop it like its hit.

    Sean

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What Guys Said 6

  • sounds like you hit it on the head. couple of things though. if he moved his drink as you say, he's pretty good at the game. the rest of what you say about him says otherwise. unless of course, he's baiting you.

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    • He always puts his drink next to mine he'd just been talking to someone else earlier in the evening and put it down somewhere else.

  • Yea guess he is .. I am also inexperienced and when I try to talk about my feelings to a girl it would be so much easier for her to make ANY move like a sign or smth just so id know I should keep going so yea guess you should help him out a bit there..be opened to him and tell him that you like spendin time with him..talking to him..etc but not too quickly first make sure that you actually have feeling for him so that you don't have a short lasting relashionshio..BEST OF LUCK :)

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  • Assuming he's not playing games with you, it could be that while he's not shy around women per se, he might be tongue-tied around women he's attracted to. This is giving him the benefit of the doubt. If this is the case, it could take a while for him to get comfortable enough with you to start initiating things.

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  • Hes probably inexperienced and shy and would like for you to make the first move. Sometimes though they do this because they'd like to take it slow and become good friends before starting to date you

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  • he's either a player based on how he acts hot and cold or he's just chill

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  • I guess your one of the many old-fashioned women when it comes to this?

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think so. Some shy guys clumsily try to befriend the friends of the girl they like. That often backfires, because then he makes your friends think that he likes them, which creates a love triangle. He treats you differently from others and he tries to be close, but not too close. That's a green light for you, go ask him out or something.

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  • seem similar to my experience except for the drinks part

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