Don't want him but don't want anyone else to have him? anyone ever felt like this after a break up?

I feel unbelievably selfish. I don't want to be with the guy anymore, but don't like to think that I'm being replaced. I have had my share of bad guys but also my share of very good guys. The good guys I always knew that they would do anything for me and I just needed to ask. Both these men were willing to get married some women dream about. They weren't scared of commitment at all. I broke it off with both of them. The bad guys I already knew they were bad news but I just wanted to experience it. For the record I am done with my bad guy phase but I still want to find a good guy type for myself. One that I would match well with and where I can actually say yes I want to marry this person. I feel like in that movie Good Luck Chuck. Where every women he dates and leaves ends up getting married with the next guy. This is what happened with my first good guy when I broke up with him.

This last relationship he was a great person but I didn't see a future with him even though we had strong feelings for each other. He just got a girlfriend and her last boyfriend was those type of bad guys I've dated. It seems she hasn't had luck to find a good guy. I really feel the way my ex boyfriend is and the way he was with me they will get married. I am still here stuck being selfish because I know what is going to happen. It's like part of me is very happy for him but the other side wants to be selfish. It could be that all the memories we had he's trying to replace me with. Why would I want him rather to be alone than with someone?


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  • Your second to last sentence pretty much answers your question itself. You don't want to be replaced. You want to believe that you were so special that you can't POSSIBLY be replaced by another woman. It's your ego getting in the way. Plus, he WAS yours, and now he belongs to another woman, and that's weird and uncomfortable to think about.

    The thing is, you aren't being replaced. He's not dating her because she reminds him of you, he's dating her because she's DIFFERENT than you. It didn't work with you, why would he shoot for the same thing? Also, he's not replacing your memories, he's creating NEW ones with her, he'll want their relationship to be unique and special, not bits and pieces of what he had with you recreated.

    Hopefully he's moved on to find a woman that better suits him and you will do the same in the future with a new guy.

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    • It's not so much I have anything against the girlfriend because I see that she's happy too. It's more like why couldn't I just marry him when he and the other guy wanted to. It's like I catch feelings for them but once I think about the future I back out. I broke up both these relationships and they were absolutely great guys that loved me alot. I feel I won't match well with them and like I'm searching for something else. I feel that they have found their one and I am still searching for it.

    • Then you are probably right. You can love someone & have a good rltshp, that doesn't mean it's meant for forever. Look at it this way, even if you have ill intentions when you feel you shouldn't, in regards to them being happy in a rltshp with another woman, you've done them & yourself a favor. You recognized something wasn't quite right & you would have been holding yourself as well as them back, by suppressing that feeling & continuing the relationship. You want what you can't have, it's only human.

    • Very true. Thanks for the insight it's pretty much what your saying. I'm going to improve myself for the the next one which I hope is what I'm looking for. : )

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