How do I handle the fact that my family is racist and doesn't approve of my relationship?

My family is full of racists, which is a bit confusing considering the fact that I'm biracial. My mother's side of the family doesn't like black people so they don't talk to me. My father's side of the family (Not including my father)(My father dislikes him for no reason at all. My mother is the only one that's likes my boyfriend but she's not in the picture so that doesn't really matter) doesn't like Hispanic people and my boyfriend is Hispanic.

I was never aware that my father's family was like this until the other day when I came home from being at my boyfriend's house and my grandmother and aunt were waiting at the door. My boyfriend was with me because he was walking me up to the door. Once we got there, my grandmother and aunt began insulting him and calling me stupid for being with him. Neither of us knew how to react. Because of this, my family is kicking me out. I'm going to have to stay at a friends house for a few months to save up some money so I can move in with my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have decided that once I move out, my family will not be a part of our life. When we have children, my family will not be involved in anyway.

I am done with my family. I don't want to have anything to do with them. It's just hard to know that they don't accept me because of something simple like this. Is there anyway I could get them to change? Or should I just consider them to be a lost cause and move on with my life?


Most Helpful Guy

  • They insulted him to his face? In front of you? My parents had problems with the race of one woman I dated but it wouldn't have occurred to them to say anything about it to me. The idea of insulting her and me would have horrified them!

    Of course you can't change them but the course you have planned with certainly shame them. Shame can be a strong motivator. Hopefully individual family members will realize how petty they are being and realize that racism isn't worth losing you. In time they may accept enough that you can allow them back into your life.

    I admire that you take such firm stands against injustice. I hope some of them come around.


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What Guys Said 1

  • That's just how it is sometimes. I'm sorry that the black side of your family is like this but most (but not all) Hispanics are actually very racist against blacks especially in Mexico and the west coast of America. Sometimes they're even more racist than whites ( I know not all whites so shut your traps chumps) who are racist against blacks. Usually families don't have a problem with a family member dating or marrying outside their race unless that member is a female especially a white female. But do you and what makes you happy. Color shouldn't matter but it always will in the world because people from all walks of life will make sure it does.


What Girls Said 1

  • So you're considering abandoning your family because they don't like your Hispanic boyfriend? That whole Romeo & Juliet "us against the world" fantasy might seem romantic, but it's often not the best idea in the long run. What's gonna happen if you and papi ever break up and you turned your back on your blood for him? How lonely would you be then? I might be getting too deep here and forgive me if I offend, but do you want to deny your future child 1/2 of their family because you chose to date outside your race? It's just not worth it, think again. I bet he ain't dissing his family! I know most Hispanics stick together (very commendable of them!) I would be very surprised if he were to disown his family over a relationship.

    • Well one, since they're racist, they wouldn't accept our child in the first place. I'm not going to put our child through that. After all we've been through, we're still going strong. The chances of us breaking up are highly unlikely. My family has treated me like dirt all my life and have never supported me. My boyfriend's family has always been there for me. So abandoning my family wouldn't exactly be hard for me to do

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