I mean as a person, is there something that breaks you apart ? I've been homeless, been molested as a kid, have been addicted but none of that has made me broken as much as my girlfriend leaving me.
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The love-hate relationship with my boyfriend. The going back and forth, breaking up and getting back together. Being hurt then making up and for some reason I just can't stop, it's like a force pulling me to him. I know there's a psychological reason behind it all but I have yet to figure it out.
It sucks and as much as I want to just be done with him sometimes, I can't. As much as I get hurt emotionally, I know I'm doing it to myself by staying at this point but then when the good happens, it's amazing...until the bad comes around again. A never-ending cycle I can't seem to break. It's the one thing in my life that breaks me down consistently.
Maybe one day I'll find it within myself to just go and never look back, but the thought of that tears me apart. It's like, I'm broken when I stay with him and broken if I leave. There doesn't seem to be a solution that doesn't emotionally hurt. We've been through A LOT. It's been over 6 years so I suppose it's just all the memories that stops me every time, I don't know.
I apologize for ranting. I just don't have anyone else close to me to talk to so I thought this question would be a good outlet.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE