Is he playing me?

Last year after not dating for a very long time ( I have had horrible dating relationships) I met ken at work. In sept we started dating & by my birthday on sept 28 we went on a weekend getaway with our teenage kids. Oct he asked to make it official boyfriend/girlfriend. Since I didn't feel like before him I was in a real relationship I started listening to the gossip about him, that he a player, flirt, tries to get with everyone. I started questioning our relationship constantly & one night in November after the 5-7 time of asking if he cheating & him saying no I tried to look through his phone & he caught me. He broke up with me right there. Two weeks later we got back together. By January though he told me that he had never wanted t I get back, he just hadn't wanted to hurt my feelings. He just wanted to be friends. In feb I started calling just to say hi & we started hanging out again. First it was going to his house once a week, then we started hanging out, then started going to dinners again. March was his birthday & he invited me to a weekend trip again. In may, June & July I also went with him on weekend trips. Everyone tells me to stop Because he doesn't want anything with me. every time I see him is Because 98% I called him to do something. If I talk/ text him is Because 99% if the time I iniated the call/text. He tells me he has feelings for me & in the year I've known him he has been there for me 100% of the time. I ask a lot of him& he NEVER tells me no. My friends say that if he really has feelings he would have been my boyfriend again. Since he does so much for me & told me he still have feelings I continue to stay Because I do love him. However in his aug weekend trip for the 1st time in a year he ddidnt invite me. But we, are already making plans for my birthday trip this month. He tells me he happy with what we have & I'm the closest thing he has to a girlfriend. Is he playing me like everyone has been saying for the past year that he has or is this strictly just friends with benefits or he just doesn't want a committed relationship but does want to be with me (he tells me we dating but by now shouldn't it have gone back to bf/gf)


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What Guys Said 2

  • This is a complicated relationship. I don't feel like he's playing you but it seems unlikely that it will become more serious than this part-time relationship. Are you happy with how it's playing out now? If you expect it to become more, it will require a lot of work that has been avoided up until now.

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  • He wants a casual friends with benefits arrangment, probably has other girl friends, and if you try to get too intimate, he will break it off.

    To be fair, having a relationship with someone with their own teenage kids is a far different cry from college dating! I'm not criticizing him.

    Some people will say that amounts to playing you, but I think by now you would have caught on to that.

    He does have genuine feelings; he just is commitment phobic. A lot of that going around!

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