What do you write when an ex that you haven't had contact with for many years emails you with regrets?

This ex & I dated in High School for 3 years. We went to different colleges. It ended because we were fighting about the pros & cons of Mormonism of all things (funny because neither of us are Mormon). We abruptly ended the relationship at the conclusion of the fight. She's married & has children now. In her email she talks of wanting to go back in time and make "different decisions", feeling disconnected with her husband, general interest in what I'm doing & of course intimate details of our relationship that she likes to think back on.I want to approach this delicately. I'd like to craft a kind, sympathic response without enraging her husband (in the event he ever looks @ her email. I'm not looking to cause trouble or break up a home (happy or not). I feel that entertaining a friendship would be crossing a line. How would you handle this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • i'd say something along the lines of... I think everyone looks back on life and things about how things would have played out differently if they had done this or that a certain way. but such is life, we made decisions at that time that we felt were right for ourselves. but as much as we can romanticize how something would have gone in hindsight we made the decisions we did adn there really is nothing we can do about it. make the best of your situation now and use your past to help you make your decisions going forward.

    essentially what I think she is doing is going through a rough patch with her hubby and now looking back is seeing these silver linings of her past. she remembers a happier time and so it seems like an ideal thing but in reality it probably wasn't. I imagine you'll find the right thing to say but mostly I'd just remind her that things happen for a reason

    • I wrote her back with a very politically correct response.I decided that putting an emphasis on the past wasn't constructive. I mostly wrote about my recent conquests & goals. I acknowledged the good times @ the end of my response & wished her the best. Hopefully this was the right thing to do. It felt right-

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What Girls Said 1

  • If this were me - I would ignore the email.

    If she emailed me again with a similar subject of conversation then I would block her account, I know that seems harsh and I get the feeling your wanting to do this as a nice guy, which is really sweet but she might see that as encouragement - any kind of response that is sympathetic could be seen as an encouragement, especially when she's feeling vulnerable and desperate to reconnect with someone from her past. It could be that this is a whim brought on by an argument within the home and she might be really embarrassed about it now.

    If you really want to message her back without causing potential issues in the future - then I think you need to be very clear that you do not want to be involved with her - romantically or otherwise.

    That you don't want to be involved with a married lady and that you feel it would be wrong to continue any contact. Wish her all the luck in the world for her future but that you won't be included in it.


What Guys Said 1

  • i would not have send her a reply, but your reply is probably OK as well.