Bf wants to move in, but have it be platonic?

So I have been seeing this guy since April. We get along well, but he is not sure how he feels about me yet.

Even early on when we were seeing each other, he was bugging me to move in with him. I just brushed it off thinking he wasn't serious.

Now a few weeks ago I got the news that my landlord was selling her house. So I have to move out of my space. I've had nothing but bad luck finding a place to stay for a while, as there's not much available close to where I work.

So now I am looking to move back to the city. Only problem is, with my commute I am not going to have an easy time affording my own place. (I plan on finding a job in the city, but those are hard to find here).

My boyfriend said we should look at getting a 2 bdrm apartment together. I liked the idea, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea.

I need some advice. My boyfriend isn't sure of how he feels about me. He likes me a lot, and enjoys spending time with me, but I'm unsure how he actually feels.

We looked at an apartment and I feel in love with it. But I've also been looking at places on my own as well. I can only afford a room-rental as I can't afford rent, plus utilities on my own. So I would have an apartment, but no cable or no internet.

My boyfriend said to me that he would be game for moving in together, as long as I "understand that our living situation is and will be completely platonic AND that our relationship (if you want to call it that) will have no (zero) bearing or influence on our platonic living relationship".

That is quoted word-by-word from a text message sent to me today.

Now I understand his logic, but it only sounds good in theory. I don't think I would be okay if we no longer saw each other and he started bringing other girls around.

He said the whole "if you call it that" line because he isn't sure what we are exactly. He was the one to start calling me girlfriend, and wanted to date me. I did like him, but he kinda pushed for the relationship.

What do you guys think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • this sounds like a decision you may come to regret.

    you have to ask yourself the question...if once you move in and the romantic relationship falls apart can you simply be just friends?

    i would want to exhaust EVERY possible option before doing this. friends, family, acquaintances, friends of friends, etc. I'd explore all them before moving in with a boyfriend considering the circumstances of the relationship


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What Girls Said 1

  • It's too soon to move in together especially if you don't even know what you are. I imagine you will be back in this situation of trying to find a new place after a short time but it will be harder with the emotional baggage.


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