I'm not sure if I should stay or go?

I've been seeing this guy since April. So far things have been going well. We spend every weekend together and also some time during the week.

I love spending time with him and he likes to spend time with me too. We do stuff together, like watch movies, go golfing and see concerts.

But he is hesitant to make us exclusive, as he's not ready. He's a recovering alcoholic (been sober for over 2 years), and I'm okay with waiting. I'm otherwise happy with the situation. I'm just worried that I'm a placeholder girlfriend.

I'm worried that once someone more exciting comes along he's going to leave :(

I am starting to develop feelings. I am being realistic though, knowing that he may leave, and that he doesn't have feelings yet.

I've met his family, he tells people I'm his girl, or girlfriend.

But he doesn't know if he really does love me yet. He has said it twice, already by mistake, but then taken it back.

I don't know what to do. I do have some feelings for him, and I do like spending time with him, and don't want to lose him from my life, but I don't know :S

I guess I'm afraid he will leave when someone better comes along. I've told him this early on in the relationship and he thought it was ridiculous. So I guess I'll talk to him this weekend.

I like how things are now in the relationship. I guess I'm just afraid.

Any advice is appreciated!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This has happened to me before too. My advice is to trust your gut feeling. Its trying to tell you that something isn't right about his behavior. Your head will come up with logical justifications for why he doesn't want to commit but the heart knows better. Don't wait for him. Infact, as soon as you show that you are interested in someone other than him and suddenly aren't available when he wants you to be...thats when he will either step in and commit to you out of the fear of losing you or he won't care and that's when you will know where he really stands. If he doesn't make his move, then he isn't the right one for you my dear. It sucks. Like really really bad but look at it this way: Atleast, now you know and you won't have to waste anymore time on him, so that you may available for the right guy to find you. The right guy for you will not make you feel insecure. He will want you as much as you want him.

    So forget about this guy. You already knew the answer to your question. Trust your gut girl.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It appears you're the only one who is worried about his loyalty to you. Relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy what you have.

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  • He does not sound like he wants anything from you.

    Because he is this and that!

    Whatever his problems are.

    They are just excuses for not getting close to you.

    Do not put yourself down no matter what he says or does.

    He sounds like he wants to keep his options open for whatever happens or comes along.

    Men are not the "Open with their feelings do not really expect it from him or any man they are not built like/for that.

    You do need to talk to him and tell him "This is it"!

    Either we are bf/gf?

    Or we are just friends no more!

    No less!

    And no benefits at all!

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