If he is back with his ex, WHY does he contact me at night still?

No we do not "hook up" or anything like that... it is purely conversation and via texts.

This is all speculation and intuition. I know his ex is at least single now. I picked up recently on him not being over her.

Also lately he doesn't talk to me nearly as much as he did and goes to her house (several friends live there) regularly now.

At night he blows up my phone wanting to text and watch something together. The conversation has also become almost entirely about him. Once in a while he'll toss me a crumb and show interest in me, personally. It was not always like this.

Why does he even bother with me? It just keeps roping me back in, getting me back into it with him. I'm trying to break away because even if it has nothing to do with his ex I have noticed that this connection with him has left me with much to be desired. I like him a LOT. But where's it going? Nowhere. And I get upset and feel sad when I know he's around his ex. It's always in a group of people it seems... but I don't know... perhaps they're getting back together.

I feel embarrassed and rejected.


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  • I think it is telling that the quality of your interactions has declined. Everybody deserves to be happy, so if you're not happy with the way he interacts with you, that should be reason enough to cut ties, especially before you're too invested.

    Having said that, I feel I'm sort of in your situation, except I'm the ex. It's really hard to tell what's going on, and I think you sort of have to gauge it day to day. My man's level of interest in me has skyrocketed recently, and our interactions feel very much like when he was trying to court me/when we were a couple. I take this as a good sign for me, but I know he's mentioned seeing someone else, and I have no clue how serious that is. I want to think that it can't be that serious if he's putting so much effort into talking to me and spending time with me, and even focusing on things in our relationship he screwed up. At the same time, who knows if he's just trying to keep both around so he can take his sweet time deciding.

    I wouldn't pressure him if you think things are going well, but if you notice it's on the decline, I might say something about it. It's not fair for you to be swinging on a rope like that.

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  • He's using you for an extra it seems. When times get tough or maybe a little boring with his ex he'll have another girl (you) to chat up with. Who knows how many other girls he does this with.

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