What's with women and attention?

Why does this girl with a long term boyfriend seem to crave my attention so much? It is pretty clear that we have a thing for each other, but never really verbally say anything about it. We both find ways to be around each other so we can walk and talk, we work together. She will gaze into my eyes, and give me strong lingering eye contact when we pass each other. She also seems to get a little un nerved when I talk to other women. It just very confusing because I stop giving her attention, but then it will make her sad and she will come back for more. Sometimes we'll talk everyday for a couple weeks and then she'll go aloof. Then come back. I like her too so I try to ignore her, but I can tell that she does not like that and wonders why I am not giving her the attention. Can a woman shed some light on this for me please?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Clearly, she has chosen you as someone she likes to be around and flirt with and she may even have fallen for you to an extent. With her having a long term boyfriend it makes things even more difficult because the question lies in where is she at in that relationship? It's not a good sign for someone to be disloyal, however, what if she accidentally found a larger attraction for you than her boyfriend? Sometimes we think we know who we want and who we love until maybe someone else reminds us that there can be more compatible and deeper connections with someone else. Whether or not this is the case it is still her responsibility to take care of her long term relationship BEFORE taking things with you to a romantic level. If I were you, I'd try my best to avoid her and if she gets sad, then realize that you are trying to be the better person and sometimes that hurts. If there ever comes a time that you two can talk openly about this, help her understand that you like her too but you respect other peoples relationships and won't cross that line. If she is serious about you and if her long term relationship is not something she wants or can reconcile, she'll figure out a way to end it with him. If it's just a cry for attention because her relationship has gotten a little dull, then she most likely won't leave him and will, sooner or later, get a clue that she needs to focus on her boyfriend and not you.


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What Girls Said 3

  • It sounds like her boyfriend isn't giving her the attention she apparently needs. She'll get some from you for a while and then she disappears until she needs you next time. I had a (taken) guy friend who used to do the exact same thing with me.

    • I get that, and that does make since. One thing I've noticed is she will try and make me jealous by flirting with a friend of mine right in front of me but watching me to see my reaction. Why would she do this? Like why is it my attention that she is after, not other guys?

  • Her relationship with her boyfriend might be rocky so she's looking for attention elsewhere. You gave her what she misses and that's why she keeps coming back for more. Don't think about her too much she ain't worth it. Good luck!

  • Hmmm uh-oh for her boyfriend! It's one thing for eyes to be wandering, but for your mind to be wandering! : / Bad sign! Usually means there's a possible desire to cheat. It's bad when your partner is that comfortable and careless with disrespecting your feelings.

    With that said, maybe she's losing interest in her boyfriend or they're just having a rough patch so she's that type of person who feels she needs a "fall back relationship" or a "fall back romantic connection." RED FLAG! You could never trust her in a relationship if this is how she behaves while she has a boyfriend. It is extremely selfish and inconsiderate for her to behave that way. If you gave her the chance, I bet she would cheat. It would be foolish to take her seriously after she's showing you that this is what she's about.

    I think you should stop talking to her or call her out on her behavior.


What Guys Said 1

  • Clearly being in a relationship doesn't stop everyone from flirting, getting attention and starting new relationships.


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