Feeling like I should end the relationship but still unsure. Any advice?

My boyfriend and I have been dating since last April so pretty much a year and five months. He's a year younger than me and I met him because he asked me to the Spring Formal of his fraternity. I really liked him, let him know that - and we dated. In the first couple weeks he always wanted to have sex with me and I just wanted to wait longer but gave in after a while. Summer came and I visited him for a month in his home state but he mostly ignored me because he worked. He'd play video games after work and I just wanted ... more. I broke it off then because I felt like we weren't on the same level. Like, I loved him more. Then I studied abroad in Canada. We texted one night when I was drunk and really missed him - he told me he'd show me that he's serious about me and that he's sorry, etc. Next day he gets drunk and kisses a girl at his frat. Because we were technically not together. It really hurt me ... but he continued to fight for me. So I visited him one day - drove down from because to WA - and we got back together. He said he really realized that he loved me - I thought I'd give it another shot. The next couple of months he was super sweet, really nice, did everything he could to make sure I was happy. But after a while, he got complacent. I started doubting our relationship and other little things that meant to me that I cared more, that I really was being an awesome girlfriend while he did the minimum. I broke it off then. Then got back together the next day - then broke it off a little while after that. We got back together almost on the same day because he was there when I needed him really really badly. I was at a down point. But the next day my brother - who's in the same frat - realized that someone went on his computer and stole his assignment for a hard class. It was my boyfriend. He figured out that it was him, confronted him - he lied ... but then said that he did it. I felt cheated on and lied on and just didn't know what to do so I just sat there, crying. I stayed with him that night when he told me but I was just really hurt and confused because if he would get caught my brother and him both could be expelled from school. I broke it off then. Told myself that this won't work. I was fine and happy actually and didn't talk to him and avoided him for 2 weeks - till my brother wanted to talk to me about him ... and brought my boyfriend. My boyfriend said that he changed, that he really needs to show me that, that he loves me, that I'm the love of his life ... and I believed him. and we got back together. Later, my brother and boyfriend got caught but my boyfriend wrote a letter saying that he cheated and received an F, while my brother came out fine. We are still together but I haven't talked to my boyfriend for 2 days because I feel like I should break things off. I still hold the past over his head. I still can't forgive him. and I'm graduating in December while he will in 2 years. We can't live together after I graduate because of his parents. I don't wanna do LDR w him if I move. Any input?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, I just have to point out that the fact that he basically pressured you to having sex with him is not cool. Yes, maybe it turned out to be OK or whatever, but still, he should have had enough respect for you to realize that he should have backed off and given you more time.

    Now that that's out of the way. I think you questioning whether you should be with him or not is your answer. If you were perfectly content with the relationship, you wouldn't be questioning it. Granted, you can't always be perfectly content with everything, but this seems to have been going on for some time now. You even said yourself that you can't get over the past and forgive him. And, you know, if the both of you were happy together, you wouldn't have broken up 38475 times over the past year and a half...

    Just break up with him and stick with that. I mean, he stole your brother's work, you've been on and off since you began dating, and you can't let go of the bad things he has done. I think those are all good reasons as to why it simply won't work out in the future. You just have to be determined. You can't take him back every single time you feel weak. Otherwise you'll just drag out the entire process, which is completely unnecessary.

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What Guys Said 1

  • There is only one question you need to ask yourself here: do you love him? I know it sounds cliché but just follow your heart that is all one can do in these situations.

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What Girls Said 1

  • The fact that you are on here questioning if you should stay with him is your answer. You have listed every reason as to why your relationship WON'T work..that is more than enough grounds to break it off. Will it hurt? Hell yes. However, not everyone stays with their first love. I know we would like to believe that and to live in that fairy tale world, but many people fall in and out of love multiple times before settling down. We cannot tell you what to do, just offer input. Personally, I would not deal with that hell. I feel like if you have to constantly break up and get back together with someone, you're just bored and unwilling to start over with someone new because you don't want to take the time to get to know a new person. You settle for what is familiar, no matter how daunting.

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