Cheating or not? My girlfriend is bi and has a girlfriend.

Just got out of a pretty rough 2 year relationship and I met another girl and we dated for about 2 months and I caught a lot of feelings for her in a short period because we had so much chemistry right off the bat and we clicked so well and never came close to fighting. It is weird to say but I fell way harder for this girl than my ex because of like how well we clicked. Well it eventually came out that she was Bi through a complicated scenario (which involved our first argument) and I let her know that it was completely fine to be Bi although I would feel like it was cheating if she hooked up with the girl that I found out she was talking to (which she did several days later) and another argument erupted. She soon started hanging out with me less and her a lot more lost interest in our long talks and everything in our relationship pretty much changed I kind of got put 2nd pretty much. We have recently broke up because of how much of a strain it put on the relationship and how much we fought. But now I just feel like a controlling douche who handled everything improperly and I still have a lot of feelings for her. Here of late it seems like some days she tries really hard to get me back and others she doesn't care she still texts me from time to time and I always message her back. My question is, is this all my fault? Is there any way I can get this girl back? If so what do I have to do? This whole relationship has blown my mind and I always thought I was a pretty open minded person but until you are in the situation everything changes. I am still crazy about this girl.Sorry this is so long I just need advice on what to do from here. Thank you so much and have a great day!

0|1
41

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you're anywhere near a controlling douche. You sound like a good person, but you're letting her walk all over you. Does she think this is a polyamorous relationship or something? She can't be your girlfriend and have a girlfriend of her own. She's cheated, which is an automatic reason to break up in my book, but you're nicer than me and tried to stay and work it out. Even then she was putting you second.

    Honestly, you don't need this girl in your life. She's just going to continue to disrespect your boundaries. I know you're crazy about her, but she's not good for you and if she cared for you as much as you care for her then she never would've cheated. Stay broken-up, move on, and find someone better. Tell this girl it's over and stop responding to her. You'll be much happier.

    0|2
    0|0
    • That's exactly what I need to do. I don't know I would still like to remain friends with her and hangout sometimes but not be in a relationship for a very long time but I highly doubt that will work. You are probably right I just need to put this all past me I guess I give people to much benefit of a doubt and it bites me.

    • Yeah, I think getting distance and space would be good. It's just too messy otherwise. Some people take advantage when you're good to them, and that sucks. Give it time and move on and you'll be alright though. Good luck to you.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Oh my, to me cheating is cheating doesn't matter if you are a girl and its with another guy or girl. If you're OK with her being with other people that's up to you, but is this mutual, can you be with other girls also? This relationship would probably need some clarification to continue with anyone getting hurt. If so I guess you two would have to meet up and talk honestly.

    0|2
    0|0
    • No it was not mutual she would get really jealous when I talked about other girls and such, I guess the only reason I was still holding on is because I felt like it was because I was being controlling because that's how I was in my last relationship and very immature. I guess I am to quick to assume everything is my fault.

    • Sounds like it, no in this situation both people must agree its open to both or closed to both, no relationship can last under unrealistic expectations.

  • I'm confused. If she actually slept with another person, I don't care what gender, then she cheated. I tried to get over a spouse cheating, but since he kept doing it we got divorced. Long story short, for me, once a cheater always a cheater. You can't have a relationship when there is no trust.

    So if she cheated then I say move on. No matter how much you say you care for her she obviously doesn't care that much for you.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I'm pansexual and if your in a committed relationship, hooking up with another girl knowing the guy isn't okay with it, I consider that cheating

    0|1
    0|0
    • Yeah I do to. She said multiple times that it was a one time thing and got mad at me because I didn't want her hanging out with her and kept saying I didn't trust her but she refused to accept the fact that's like me just "hanging" with a girl who I had sex with while in a committed relationship. I honestly think later down the road she will realize that this is her fault she is in denial or refuses to accept what happened In think.

What Guys Said 1

  • NO CONTACT RULE... IF SHE CONTACTS YOU 1ST SHE STILL CARES IF SHE DOESN'T THEN MOVE ON.. ITS TOUGH WHEN YOU FALL THAT HARD FOR SOMEONE TO GO NO COTACT ... IT SOUNDS BY YOUR POST YOU MAY BE A NICE GUY ...NOT JUDGING I'M ONE ALSO... HOWEVER WE DO GET A LITTLE CLINGY AT TIMES WHICH WOMEN IN GENERAL DON'T LIKE.

    SUGGESTIONS WHICH MIGHT HELP

    DON'T COMMUNICATE AS OFTEN (THIS IS AFTER THE NO CONTACT RULE HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED BY YOU)

    FIND A HOBBY YOU LIKE OR HAVE AND SHOW THAT YOU HAVE OTHER OUTSIDE INTEREST THAN SOLEY HER.

    JUST WITH THESE 2 ITEMS IT WILL BRING ABOUT A CHANGE OF ATTITUDE IN HER MORE FAVORABLE TO YOU IN MY OPINION.

    LOL... WITHOUT READING ANY OTHER POSTS ON HER YET ...I'M SURE SOMEONE IS GOING TO SUGGEST A 3 SOME BETWEEN YOU AND YOU Girlfriend AND HER Girlfriend ... ONLY PROBLEM IS THE Girlfriend OF YOUR Girlfriend WOULD HAVE TO BE BI AS WELL FOR HER TO EVEN

    CONSIDER IT.. BECAUSE IF HER Girlfriend IS A TRUE LESBIAN THERE AIN'T NO WAY IN HELL THAT WILL TAKE PLACE ...

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...