Please help me make sense of this break up?

He was sick of my health problems but said he hadn't given up, I said I was worried I was going to lose him. He said I wouldn't. Weeks later we had a big talk and he ended up saying he either wants a break or to break up. I was hysterical and he ended up saying lets try. He spoke to a friend at work who changed his mind and still gave him hope in our relationship. We talked about travelling and moving out and then we had a fight because I saw a conversation he was having with a girl and part of the convo was deleted. He had done this before. I got mad and we had a big fight and he started ignoring me and I went to go to sleep and turned over and noticed he was still msging her. I got really mad and started calling him names. The next day he said he wanted a break or to break up, again. Then he left to go stay at someone elses house, he called me the next day and broke up with me. He said his heart wasn't in it anymore and I said but you said you loved me and he said I do but I don't want to be with you anymore. He had said he wasn't happy for a long time, yet the week before we were fine..I wondered if it had something to do with a girl he had met at a hike he went too and I asked and he said no.

I've been hysterical over it all. Yet he had msgd me asking if I'm alright, asking if a family member in hospital was going okay. Then I updated my status saying All I want is cuddles and then he messaged me saying you should go hug your cat(he had said this when we were together and when he wasn't home in the past as well) and I didn't know what to say back to him so I just replied saying "lol". He didn't say anything after that. Then I noticed he deleted me off Facebook. How can you message me and then be all okay with me and then delete me the next day?I'm so hurt and confused. He is meant to come over tomorrow to pick up his stuff too, I thought a bout having a talk with him about us..but is that a bad idea?How can I get him back?I know that if a few things changed in our relationship, that we would be fine, that's why it hurts even more..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • the fact of the matter is he was trying to stay in a relationship he wasn't happy in. on one hand that's admirable that he wasn't just giving up. on the other hand, as you mentioned, it's rather underhanded because while saying he loves you and wants to stay with you, mentally he has already checked... thus he was texting other girls, thus the constant talk of break up or go on break, thus the fights, etc.

    i don't think you need to even bother trying to get back together with him. you need to focus on yourself and moving forward.

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What Guys Said 6

  • He said " I don't want to be with you " and "Wasn't happy for a long time " = it's over , finished so don't get hysterical , accept it , it's not the end of the world , deal with it , as this stuff happens all the time to other people. Re- build and in time this won't matter at all. xxxx

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    • but he still said he loved me..but now I noticed he's back on a dating site, please help me make sense of this?and then before hand he was talking about things getting better for us, I don't understand

    • Like I said it's over , finished, so no more contact,checking on him etc . The line has been drawn in the sand. Block text,email,phones etc So now you know where you are at . Half over, half on is crazy so don't go there.Hang out with friends , meet other guys = all good.

  • You broke up. No contact is best. Get over him, you likely will not get him back.

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  • Sounds more like yo-yo immaturity. It isn't worth going back to really; when under duress of whatever sort he's a quitter. Let. Him. Quit.

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    • I want him back though :(

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    • he left because it took it's toll on him and he couldn't take it anymore, so it's understandable. And een if the talk doesn't work, I want to try.

    • Stress is one thing. I can understand stress. I can understand and even empathize with dealing with a sick loved one both mentally and physically, but that is not grounds for yo-yo behavior. I wish you the best with that of course, as it is your desire, even if not in your best interest. You're simply delaying the inevitable unless he matures.

  • Hi, Sorry you're having trouble. The deleted conversation sounds sketchy to me. A guy has an ability to do stupid stuff like that and then justify breaking up over your acceptable response. Sadly the reason he deleted you suddenly from Facebook is either he didn't want you to see him with a girl.. or he didn't want another girl to see him Facebooking with you. That's just my guess. I see two options. You need to try and get over this guy. Or try to get him back by letting him know you won't be available to him if he changes his mind. If he has that security he'll never have to think hard about his decisions. The beauty thing about that is one will accomplish the other. Go have fun and work on yourself. Meet new people. You may do this to get over him and find he comes back. Or you may do this to try and get him back and find you're suddenly over him. Either way it will pass and it will get better!

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  • You need to play we with your self in front of him...I would start your drive with a viberator th err and ask him if he would watch you f***. Or get him to play rape you its a sex fantasy thing...

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't do it! Focus on you...i am in a similar situation and it doesn't get any better. Leave him alone and if he misses you he will come back. Men do stupid things, like my recent ex had been reading my journal, the whole thing was about him and my love for him, he continued reading it everyday and when I asked him why he says "Because I can" I disagree and believe there is more to it. So we fight and it gets worse it continuously gets worse! If he is anything like my ex he will never admit to feelings, and when they ask questions about how your doing it is because they care. Once they see they let their guard down they will hold back again (message you on face book, then delete you). Just don't do it be strong for yourself! Please do not make the same mistake I did

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