Going for some coffee with my ex, how to handle this?

My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago because she didn't feel loved by me and this caused her feelings towards me to decline. I do love her but I've had a lot on my mind lately. The space I got from the break up actually allowed me to sort out this negativity and I feel refreshed.

She wanted to stay friends, and she might give me another chance. I met her yesterday because her work is near my place and she had to pick up the charger for her phone before taking the bus. While walking to the bus stop we had a lot of fun talking and I asked her how she felt about how we are acting around each other now and she said she really liked it.

During the conversation I asked her if she'd like to go for a cup of coffee next week and she accepted without hesitation but said: as friends, not a date. I told her I was fine with that.

I also said to her I still needed to sweep her of her feet again (used diff words in my native language but that's all I can think of which sounds about the same). She replied with: Yeah, you still have something to prove.

So basically her trust in me setting things right in the relationship was gone and that's why she broke up with me. I want to show her I'm still the person she fell in love with and that I've learned from my mistakes. I also told her why I acted the way I did and she seemed very interested about it but the bus already came so we didn't really finish up our conversation.

So how should I act around her when the time comes for that cup of coffee? Would just acting like a friend without bringing up the past be good? And when should I really try to hook up with her again?

Any experiences/advice is welcome! I've tried to be as detailed as possible so sorry for the wall of text :p

P.S. Of course she seemed a little insecure when I brought up I'mgonnawinuback thing but I guess that's normal.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like she is not ready for reunion but yet she didn't close all the doors. So, my advice is don't be needy or clingy but don't act "too" friendly either. Smile, be confident, listen to her and make sure that she knows that you respect her. And don't forget, it's a process, you can't win her heart back in an hour. You need to be patient and strong.

    Good luck!

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Thanks. Patience is everything here I guess :) What do you mean by not acting too friendly? Should I be a bit layed back and passive in this?

    • Show All
    • I believe theese are good signs ;) Good luck again!

    • haha thx

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What Girls Said 2

  • In this case, I don't think it's a mistake at all. You clearly do care for her, and you kinda messed up by taking her for granted. If you really want her back, then prove to her that you can be there for her. Make her feel wanted again. When you go for coffee, just be normal and don't try to push it too soon. Let her come to you. Just be there as her friend. It's okay if you give her a hug or something but don't put to much pressure on her to take you back right away. Just ease in to it.

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  • JUst be normal and casual

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What Guys Said 2

  • First of all, you shouldn't try to go back to her. The reasons you two broke up will still be there; they haven't gone away. Second, why would you want to go back to someone who dumped you? There are so many women out there; wouldn't you rather be with a woman who thought the world of you and did whatever it took to hold onto such a great guy? I personally would never try to stay with a woman who indicated that she didn't want to stay with me.

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  • BIG MISTAKE.

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    • nope, she's worth the risk.

    • Risk, I don't care about, its the time you're wasting, and making yourself look bad. Its up to you if you want to learn this lesson the hard way. I guarantee you will regret it one day.

    • I will regret it if I let this chance, small as it is, slip through my fingers. Better spend time on this then on some rebound that's bound to fail ;)

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