I need help! Worst day ever!

Okay so I have been seeing this guy for about 5 months. I really care about him and everything. He's a recovering alcoholic, and has been sober for 2 years.

We were going to move in together and we had talked about this extensively.

Well recently he has been depressed, but every time he gets into a mood he gets out of it. I suffer from depression too, but I have a better handle on it than he does. Anyway today was a really bad day for him. He started talking about drinking again, taking pills, ending his life. His sister says he does this when he gets depressed.

I told his sister what was going on since I was very concerned and she is talking with him now.

He basically said that he was no longer interested in talking to me or ever seeing me again. I know that this might pass, but I'm also having a rough time.

I have to move in literally a week and don't even have a place to live anymore now. I'm not sure what to do and I can't even talk to my family about this.

They don't know he's a recovering alcoholic. Plus they will be mad since they are helping me move. I'm honestly not sure what to do.

I've spent most of the past 6 weeks looking for a place to live, planning the move, etc... But we haven't signed a lease or anything, but I did email the property manager saying we wanted the apartment :(

So now I am in a big mess and not sure what to do. And on top of everything else the person I care most about is going through a tough time.

I'm not sure what to do. Any advice, kind words, or insight is greatly appreciated!

I talked to my family, and they are totally cool. But I unfortunately don't have the option of staying with them, maybe as an extreme emergency last resort. But it's like a one-way 2 hour commute from their house to where I work. Which will suck. And I know I can't afford the gas.

I'm planning on leaving this guy. I understand that he has issues, but I did not deserve to be treated like this. He could have at least talked to me. But he hasn't really talked to me since.
I plan on being civil with him so I can get my stuff from his place. Then I will probably break things off with him. I don't think I can be with someone who can be so selfish. I care about him and want him to get help, but he is refusing to do anything about his problems. And I know it's not in my power to fix them, nor my place to try and fix them for him. I can only take care of myself.


Most Helpful Guy

  • sorry to do this but it is time for a little bad tasting medicine. :/

    you don't & didn't have a place to go regardless of your relationship. don't look at this as a good or bad thing. you have no obligation to anyone until you sign a lease. the negative side of this is that you don't have a place to move to in a week and might be moving back with your parents for a little bit. some time apart might be good for you both. if that's not possible then you need to look for a place to live for just you and try to get a short term lease. you're parents may be mad but in the end they will want you to be OK and not in a bad situation. be honest with them about both of your depression issues and past history.

    youre guy needs to figure out what it is that is really bothering him. you also need to figure out what puts you in a negative mood. he may also need to spend some time living with a family member to help get his life going in the right direction.

    you can't let another person influence your life like you're letting him do. you have only been with him for 5 months...that is nothing. you need to make yourself the most important person in your life by far. he may see that your relationship is not really going anywhere or he might be scared. He may need to figure out some things in his own life & he will need to do this with his own will power.

    the 2 of you might want to stay together but figure out where you really are. Don't move in together right now.

    so for a positive note, look at this as an opportunity to figure out a bit of your life. you're not really in a big mess, it only seems like it right now. look forward to the next day and try to make your life a little better every day. sorry but the next few days to even a couple months might be rough.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Talk to your family, and then let go of your boyfriend. Substance addiction is a deal stopper in my book. It's just a bridge too far. Suicide threats are utter bull. Tell him to effing do it or go get help. Either one, but to stop laying that stuff on folks that care for him.

  • hi,girl,you should leave him,because you are in danger with such a man

  • Talk to your family.


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