So I've been dating my boyfriend a really long time, since I was 15. Today I broke up with him. I love him more than anything and he's my best friend, but he just let me know last night that he's been doubting his feelings for me for a year and that he wants to date other girls. Basically, he just wants either an open relationship or a friendship where I wait around til he either finds someone else or comes back to me. I honestly just couldn't pull that off and I don't think I would be respecting myself if I said yes. So we broke up because for now he has things to work through. Also, he really hasn't been valuing me and I think in order for us to get back together he would have to make me a priority in his life. Though honestly, I'm really struggling as I basically can't remember life before him. What is the best way to work through this, talk it out, and end on a good note? Also, what are the best ways to move on? Any additional advice would be awesome, I'm pretty choked here.
Most Helpful Girl
I think you did exactly the right thing - you shouldn't be considered a 'back up' option until he either decides that he wants to be with you or meets someone else - that's a horrible thing to even suggest.
I don't think you can end this on a good note - break ups in general are hard especially when one person is still in love with the other. If he's pushing for a friendship - you have to say no, you have to decide that your not going to see him or contact him for a while - forever would be better but a few months would do just now. You need the distance from your relationship so that you can stop thinking of him as being your 'boyfriend' start thinking of him as being your 'ex'. You need that time until you can feel comfortable seeing him with another girl (which may happen) then you need to avoid him as much as possible.
In terms of moving on - contact your friends invite them over and cry for now, then in a few days when your feeling less choked, focus on your job, you school work, your hobbies whatever it is you have in your life that just yours. Or take up a completely new interest - spend more time with your family and friends. Take it one day at a time and you'll get there.1