What words stuck with you during a breakup?

Is there something that your SO or someone else said to you while you were in the middle of a break up that will always be engrained in your mind?

It could be something hurtful or something you realized was true about yourself or the situation.

One night I was out with friends after my boyfriend and I broke up and a guy I knew through mutual friends was hitting on me. I wasn't interested so I told him that my ex and I were trying to work things out and that I was going to see him in a few days, which was true.

I despise this person to this day but when I told him that he looked at me and said, "Notice that you are the one putting all the effort into it".

This happened about a year and a half ago and I still hear his voice in my head because he was right.

I went to see my ex a few days later and it was a disaster. Needless to say we didn't get back together.

Now when I notice that I'm the one making most of the effort in a relationship I know it's time to leave.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "youre a goof, you made your bed now you have to lay in it" this was over the phone, 3 months after the break up she phones me crying, wanting me back after finding out the guy she cheated with ended up being a loser, creep, saying she made a big mistake which I already knew because the guys a thief and just got out of jail was set to go back to court to be sent back to jail. he ended up stealing her car and thousands of dollars from her. I just told her what she told me over the phone. I just couldn't believe how stupid she was, pretty sure I told her that to. go for the bad boys girls that's what you'll get

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What Guys Said 10

  • You putting all the effort in means you have to leave? well your clearly with the wrong guys then. Its not because its embedded in your brain, its because you choose to believe that.

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    • I'm sorry can you elaborate? Yes if I'm the only one making an effort to keep the relationship going then it's time to bow out.

      My relationships don't start that way, and in the instance I'm referring to above that relationship didn't end that way. But when we were discussing getting back together I pushed to early and too much, convinced him it was time we spent some face time together, and drove 2 hours to see him. Why would I be with someone who makes no effort to keep things going?

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    • OKay but you haven't stated this. CLEARLY THIS GUY WASNT INTO YOU, AND YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF. Put your energy for now on, into someone that actually shows you the same. WOW. Clearly you already knew the answer.

    • Am I talking to a brick wall? I WASN'T LOOKING FOR AN ANSWER TO A PROBLEM. It was an example from a past relationship that has since ended. I don't need your advice. I learned from the situation and moved on. That was the whole freaking point of me using it as an example because the guy at the bar pointed out something that should have been obvious to me at the time but wasn't because I was blinded by emotion.

  • Way back as a teenager. We weren't really dating so you couldn't really call it a break-up, but we had been flirting all year; I was too young to date anyway.

    She told me to get lost because I was a 'dumb Italian.'

    I had never come up against racism in my personal life before, certainly not in such a stark way.

    She was a Chinese American, but very American and not at all Chinese.

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  • There is no need to listen to what a SO tells you when they break up with you. Their words can be mean or insignificant, the only thing to remember is that it's over, and to move on.

    Because if you spend a little time thinking about what went wrong and when it went wrong, it's always possible to understand and draw your own conclusions.

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  • My relationship with her was dying and I knew it. And in out final conversation I tried desperately to talk her out of a break-up. I told her that she meat the world to me an that she is my closest friend I'd do anything for. Then she replied "I feel like I don't even know you!"

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  • She said "I'm pregnant" and we both knew I wasn't the 'dad'.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Him: You're my best girl friend. I want you to stay a great friend, just not a girlfriend.

    Him: I always knew you were more ''into it'' than I was. I'm just not really ''into it'' anymore.

    Me: Do you know how much time you'd have available every week to see me?

    Him: I don't know.

    Me: Do you still want me to be in your life or would you be okay with me not being in it at all anymore?

    Him: I'm not sure.

    Me: I think if you wanted to be with me, you'd know. You wouldn't have doubts. You don't want me anymore. I'm not desperate and I won't stay with someone who doesn't want me.

    Me: I think when you were gone, you didn't mind at all that I wasn't there. You don't miss me anymore when we're apart.

    Him: I don't know. I don't want to bullsh*t you, so I'm not gonna tell you I've missed you when it's not true.

    Me: I think you just don't love me anymore and you don't want to say it.

    Him: I don't know.

    And to almost every answer:

    Him: What did you want me tell you? Lie?

    (To me, all of his answers are interchangeable. The worst was definitely making him face the fact that he didn't love me anymore and him not denying it. It's a huge slap in the face.)

    He also put a LOT of intent in having an ''amicable'' breakup and wanting to stay friends. He said something like ''I want us to still go swimming together. You can call me and ask me for help if you need, for school. I still want us to stay in touch and, maybe reconnect in a few years. I don't want things to end on bad terms. If we're meant to be together, we'll find each other again later in life". I feel like he's strung me along for way too long and cowardly screwed things over in the end. F***staying friends, he's dead to me ever since.

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  • he said if I died in his arms he would have spat in my face afterwards

    that stung a lot tbh, I never even did anything wrong. he was paranoid from weed and accused me of hiding a guy in my room because my room was messy and I didn't want to hang out in it (he actually came into the room and checked then concluded he must have jumped out the window and run off) then said I was a bitch for being angry about it when he was the one not trusting me and openly accusing me of things id never do.

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  • It's more like what I he said post break up when I spoke to him again too soon after we broke up. It was a few months into us being in contact with each other. I asked if he thought we'd ever get back together and he said "At this point no".

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  • Oh,.. He said that he isn't happy anymore and that he doesn't feel nice in the relationship anymore. And two days before that he gave me a Thank you note where he wrote that I am the love of his life and that a guy should never make a woman cry... Irony... :D

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  • What stuck out with me, was my ex had the nerve to say that he still had feelings for me. He was the one that broke up with me. He got this new chick on the side, and had the nerve to claim that he still had feelings for me. lol. Sure

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